Stay With Me

Three

The hit had come quicker than any of the heroes had anticipated, with villains swarming the district as a distraction while the real transaction took place on the other side of the city. Bakugou and Kirishima had been sent downtown to quickly take out as many as they could.

His arms were shaking, nearly torn apart by his quirk. It had been hours of fighting, the biggest villain alliance he'd seen in years but the call had come through his earpiece that the last guy had been secured.

He could breathe again.

Until a gut wrenching noise had his head whipping to the left and he knew what was about to happen as soon as he heard the first whine of steel. It was an all too familiar noise for someone with a destructive quirk.

It was the sound of support beams giving in. The roof would come down any second. His eyes met Red Riot's through the dust before he propelled himself forward with weak explosions, Kirishima following behind at a sprint.

He knew there were still civilians in there. It was just outside of the mandatory evacuation radius so some idiot would still be stubbornly inside instead of voluntarily leaving.

A final blast would have been enough to propel him through the first floor windows but thick arms wrapped around his chest and held him back. He clawed at the battle battered arms but Kirishima's grip was too strong.

He could only watch as the roof gave in, crashing down in an explosion more deafening than his own. His ears were ringing so loudly that he couldn't hear his own hoarse yelling as a blanket of dust and debris choked the street.

Their visibility was almost nothing and his ears were still useless. The only thing grounding him was Kirishima and the rise and fall of his chest against his back.

Bakugou was a combat hero. He knew there were heroes far better equipped for search and rescue than he was, but he couldn't tear himself away from the scene.

Kirishima hadn't said a word, just slowly let go and moved with him to help clear rubble. When enough carnage had been cleared and the rescue team started the recovery process, Bakugou let Kirishima lead him away to make their reports.

It wasn't until they were in his agency's locker room that it finally hit him. All he could see was that building crumbling. Replaying over and over.

He slammed his gloved fist against the metal of a locker. The harsh impact didn't even register in his exhausted arm and it wasn't as satisfying as he needed it to be. He pulled his fist back and hit it again. His next punch didn't collide because that familiar strong grip wound its way around his bicep.

"Hey," Kirishima's voice behind him was soft, but the admonishment was loud and clear, "That's enough."

He hated that voice, yet it had the desired affect and he dropped his head against the cool metal of the locker and heaved in a breath.

"You did everything you could."

He sucked in another trembling breath as his arm was released to hang heavy at his side
and that warm hand smoothed up and down his back.

"It's not enough," he rasped out before the tears came, hot and angry, to spill down his cheeks. "It's not-" he scrubbed at his face and turned to face Kirishima, eyes blazing. "If you had just let me-"

Kirishima's hand slammed against the locker and Bakugou flinched. "Let you what?" he demanded. "Go down with that building too?" His eyes flicked over Bakugou's face, pleading and angry.

Bakugou watched him take a breath and let it out slowly. His fist weakly hit the locker again, the anger already only an echo of what it was. "I'm not sorry I stopped you," he added quietly.

His hand dropped to Bakugou's shoulder. "You wouldn't have come out of that building. We can't always save everyone, no matter how much we want to."

Bakugou stared at him for a long moment, a hundred arguments on the tip of his tongue. They both knew their job was dangerous, that every patrol could possibly be their last. He knew Kirishima knew it too.

He remembered watching the news and seeing him smash his way into a burning building to rescue a little girl. He remembered calling him all the names under the sun for how stupid he was going in alone. He remembered how scared he'd been watching that happen. And with that, he felt his shoulders droop.

"It's not enough," he rasped. He had never had a casualty on any of his jobs before today and it was hard. So fucking hard. He never wanted to feel like this again. He sucked in another shaky breath. "I'm supposed to be a hero who wins. How could I let them beat me like that?"

"Don't do this to yourself. You did everything right," Kirishima's hand moved from his shoulder to cup his cheek, the warmth of his body radiating as his thumb wiped a tear away.

Bakugou's hand shot out and gripped his wrist tight enough to bruise, not to push him away but to hold him there, as if his sanity depended on this sturdy foundation to ground him.

Kirishima leaned into the touch, resting his forehead against Bakugou's as his thumb smoothed back and forth across his cheekbone. His soft words lingered in the small space between them. "I'm so proud of you. You saved so many people."

They stood like that for a minute, eyes closed as Bakugou let himself believe the words. Finally, he pulled in one last trembling breath and let go of Kirishima's wrist allowing him to step back.

Bakugou turned toward the showers, exhaustion hanging heavy from every limb, and locked himself into a cubicle. It was only then that it dawned on him that Kirishima was speaking from experience. He'd been through this before.

And Bakugou hadn't been there for him.

-

Kirishima made sure he got his key in the lock before starting to say goodnight when Bakugou's hand wrapped around his forearm, grip weak from exhaustion but no less insistent. He hoped Kirishima knew what he was trying to say. Stay. Don't leave me. Not yet. Just like he wordlessly understood all those times before.

Kirishima got him into bed and climbed in behind him without being asked. The same way he had in school. He lifted his arm and Bakugou turned his face into his chest, wanting the warmth. The same way he had in school.

Bakugou could breathe like this. Kirishima was there. He always would be.

Except he wouldn't.

He'd let Kirishima walk out of his life once and he'd be damned if he did it again. He curled himself tighter against Kirishima's chest and he wondered if he was still awake when safe arms wrapped around him a little tighter.

"Stay with me." His quiet words must have been heard because Kirishima went completely still. "Stay with me. Open DynaRiot like we always said."

Kirishima loosened his grip. "Don't make promises when you're in shock."

"I'm not in fucking shock." Bakugou's words were muffled by the soft fabric of Kirishima's shirt.

"Quirk shock at the very least then, your arms are trembling."

Bakugou made an effort to still his arms. "I don't say shit I don't mean. Be my partner."

His head rose and fell with Kirishima's chest as he waited for his response. "Ask me again in the morning."

Bakugou was pretty sure the sun was close to rising as it was but Kirishima knew him too well and cut off any protest before it could be made. "Go to sleep, Kat."