One More Time (dwt x reader)

Chapter 30

Y/n's POV:

We sit on the beach. We've been here for maybe an hour, just sitting. Not talking, not planning, not celebrating. Just sitting in silence. Until, finally, it's not silence.

"I can't." Dream suddenly breaks the stillness in the air. I look up at him, not uttering a single word in response. "I can't- I just... can't." He digs his nails into his scalp, gripping onto his long blonde locks of hair.

"I know." I whisper. Just two solemn words escaping my lips.

"Have you ever felt guilt, y/n? Guilt so strong it swallows you whole. Guilt so strong it's all you can think about? Guilt so strong that it's almost like a little voice in your head? Relentless. Pounding. Never ceasing." Dream looks at me, his face full of distress, placing his hands on his temples.

"I know, Dream." I repeat, just three solemn words.

Dream shakes his head, "no..." he breathes out. "You don't." He pauses. "And don't hit me with the 'this is what you wanted' shit."

"I wasn't going to, Dream, because I went through the same thing when you were first taken to prison. I thought locking you away was what I wanted. It's what I always wanted. Turns out it wasn't. It was what the people wanted. All this time we never had a thought of our own." My voice is low, but heartfelt.

"Then it's time I make a decision of my own." Dream stands up. I start to stand, but he places a firm hand on my shoulder. "Don't follow me, y/n." My brows furrow in confusion.

"What-" I start.

"I can't keep asking you to risk your life. I can't keep asking you to be with me. I tried in the beginning, I tired to make you stay away. In the end I gave up, my feelings got the best of me. I'm weak, y/n. I did exactly what I said I wouldn't do." Dream's voice holds a tone I've never heard him use. It's soft, it's raw. It's him.

"You're not asking me, Dream. This is my choice." I try to argue, but he shakes his head.

"I'm pathetic, y/n. I have to go. Far away where no one can find me. Not even you."

"Dream..." my voice breaks. "Dream, please." I know even if I plead he won't change his mind. Because this is him. This is Dream.

"I can't live with myself, y/n!" He yells, digging his nails so hard into his scalp that it draws blood.

"That what was all this for? Risking our lives for what?" I question, a sudden edge to my tone.

"I..." his voice fails him as he looks down. "I needed closure."

I scoff, "you are fucking pathetic, Dream. Go off and do whatever the hell you want to do. Go off and forget me which seems pretty damn easy for you."

"Do you think this is easy for me?" His voice rises, hundreds of emotions flickering in his green eyes.

"Then don't leave, Dream! Don't leave when I just got you back..." I trail off, sadness etched into my words like an old, heavy woven quilt.

"I'm doing this for you, y/n."

Quietness comes over us again, the faint blaring of the alarm far in the distance. It feels like years, when it's only been hours.

"I need to leave because it's true. I will only hurt you more and more because that's what I do, y/n. I've dragged you along this far, now I have to let you go." His voice sounds weary and tired, as if he's thought about what to say over and over in his head.

He leans in and presses his lip against mine, but this time I don't kiss back. He pulls away, guilt, fear, sadness, pain all visible on his face.

"I'm sorry," before I can even say another word he dashes into the forest leaving me numb, cold and alone.