subtle|skz

-eleven-

JiSung's POV

"How are you feeling? Any better? Is it still sore? I'm sorry I went so rough. I just wanted to finish before the others noticed. You were loud." MinHo mumbles apologetically as he sits down on the bed next to me. I yawn and shake my head.

"I'm fine." I reassure him as I roll onto my side facing him. I take his hand in mine and run my fingertips over his palm.

"We should talk about that, Sungie. We shouldn't have done that—what if it messes up the group. Lix was right. We were all kind of cliquey today. We had our pairs and everyone else felt kind of awkward." MinHo sighs as he pulls his hand away from me. I swallow hard. I don't want to lose him. I just got him. I can't lose him already.

"No—you can't leave me—I need you. Please, Hyung. I promise I'll still pay attention to the others. I promise I won't get jealous if you do the same—just please don't call us off. It wasn't a mistake. I wanted it—really bad." I try to convince him to change his mind, but I don't know if it'll work. We were both horny in the moment—we just needed a release. It was just convenient that we both needed it at the same time. I don't even know if he really wanted to do it with me or if I was just there and easy to get to.

"Baby—I'm just worried. It was a mistake—but not in a bad way. You're sick. You should've been resting—instead I made things more difficult for you. We can't ignore Lixie either. Everyone was off. I just didn't want to say anything. I don't know what the others were going through, but no one seemed like themselves. I don't know if they overheard us last night and that's why it's so awkward or if it was just a bad day for everyone." MinHo whispers softly as he trails his fingers over my cheek.

"Channie Hyung said we're all gonna talk in the morning. Can't we just wait until then to figure things out? He might be able to work something out. Who knows—maybe everyone was just having a rough day." I plead as MinHo sighs in defeat. He knows I'm going to complain and bother him until he at least gives me a second chance. A third—I probably can't expect from him, but a second is something he can't say no to.

"Okay—calm down—I just wanted to talk about it. I didn't have anything set in stone. Relax. We'll discuss it before I make any big decisions. Besides—we haven't even talked about us and what we are now." MinHo points out as he lays back against the pillow next to me.

"Oh—yeah—I guess I didn't think about that." My voice falters a bit. I had just assumed we were a thing now—but he's right.

We have to talk about it. What will we tell the others—will we even tell them? I mean they'll more than likely find out eventually—but do we just wanna wait until that happens or do we want to come clean? What would be best? Will the others be mad?

"What do you want, Sung? Are you invested in us? Do you want an actual relationship or do you just want occasional sex? Was it a one time thing? I need to know what you were thinking before I make up my mind." MinHo rests his cheek on top of my head as he intertwines our hands and rests them on my stomach.

"I don't know. Honestly—I was worried about what you wanted. I don't want to say what I want if it's not what you want. I'm scared that we don't want the same thing. I don't want what I want to make you uncomfortable with me. I'd rather just stay in limbo than voice my feelings." I mumble softly—well aware that my feelings are probably obvious from how I reacted to him earlier.

"What I want? Honestly—I'm always worried about you. I'm constantly thinking of you. Is JiSung okay? Is he anxious? Should I hold him? Does he need a break? How can I help him? Those kinds of questions are always running through my head. Speaking of those—did you eat something while I was in the shower?" MinHo leans forward ready to hop onto his feet to feed me. I quickly pull him back down—not wanting his warmth to disappear.