Hooked on love

Chapter 29

Chapter 29

I'm pushing my legs to go faster, but they won't go. The burn in my thighs is slowjing me down, I used to run track in high school - short distance, so long distance isn't my forte.
I need to see Jackson, having him hold me will lessen the pain. Should I tell him about the kiss? I don't want him to leave me too..I have too many emotions to think straight! My only best friend that ever understood me is leaving me. My chest won't stop aching, I don't want to feel anymore.

I slam my fist against the door over, and over desperate for it to open. Seth opens is and comes to a halt, he tries to say something but nothing comes out. I would be doing the same after seeing me right now.
He finally regains his composure and shouts for Jackson. Maybe I should have gone home and cried to mum instead. I hesitate and step inside, what if he thinks I'm stupid for coming back and crying over something like this?
Jackson runs down the stairs taking two at a time, so when he makes it to me he's panting. Once he sees me he wraps his arms around me and strokes my hair, within seconds I relax and sob into his chest.
After I can down and he my breathing under control he tries to lift my face, but I bury it deeper. "I'm covered in tears and snot, I refuse to let you see me like this." I can't even tell what's snot and tears its smudged that much, and I've ruined his shirt. I can feel him looking around, pondering. It doesn't take long because he crouches a bit and picks me up by my legs so they're wrapped around his wasit, he puts my head in my neck so I'm nuzzling him and carries me up the stairs. He isn't planning on taking me up all of them is he? I must be heavy.
"Once were in my room, you're telling me everything. Okay?" I can't lie to him, I need to tell him. "Okay." I mumble.

He places me on the bed, turns round and holds his hand out with tissue in it. When did he get that? I like that has respecting me enough to not look at me. I quickly wipe my face and make myself look semi a presentable, I don't know where to start.
"I'll give you time to calm down first, just start talking when you're ready." I take a deep breath in and out, he's making me feel at ease, it'll be okay.
"After I left here, Nick called me about told me to meet him, its where I've just come from now." He tuns round and kneels in front of me, "what has he done? I'll kill him!" I close my eyes and count to 10. "Calm down Jackson, let me talk and then you can interject." Its hard enough keeping my tears at bay, now I have to fend off my anxiety too.
He leans back onto his heels giving me space to breathe. "He told me he was moving away - to America." I bite my lip and breathe slowly, don't cry yet! Jackson puts his hand on mine and squeezes.
"This is going to be really hard for me to say and for you to hear, so bare with me." He cocks his head to the side, then nods. "He rung me about Cassie, I told him its not my story to tell. He got angry and told me to leave you because I'm not safe, and I told him no because I love you. He then told me to meet him so he can tell me why he's been so busy recently.
I met him and I knew by just looking at him that something was off. He told me he realised that he loves me and he wanted to try being together - if it worked, he'd stay or I could go with him. I told him no because we've never been intimate before and that I only see him as a brother, and then he forced a kiss on me." I start to cfy again, I wipe the years away angrily. "I felt nothing, absolutely nothing. So I pushed him away and apologised because you was too big in my heart, leaving no room for him. I tried to ask to be friends, he's so important to me I didn't want to let go! But he said it was a relationship or nothing, so I chose nothing.
He accepted my apology and decided it was time to say goodbye for good, so we said our goodbyes and I came straight here." The ache strikes with a vengeance taking me under. I cry hard, wailing. Jackson doesn't move or say anything, why isn't he hugging me?
"He kissed you?" He's angry, did he not hear anything else? "Yes, but I rejected him." I said.
"That's not the point, he kissed you! Even though you're taken!" He stands up, pacing the room. "Jackson, I've just lost my best friend! I even broke his heart. I could do with some comfort right now." Why can't he be normal? Its not like I kissed him!
"I told you he wanted to be your boyfriend! I knew I was right, and you was too stupid to see it!" We're back to the insults now. "He wasn't showing any signs then! Have you not noticed that I chose you? He's gone!" He's really gone...
Jackson snorts and looks at me. "He was. You just couldn't see it! I'm glad he's gone, I should hit him for evemn glancing at you." I cover my face and take some more deep breaths. I shouldn't have come here.
"It was a bad idea coming here, I thought you'd do what a normal boyfriend would do and comfort me, not insult me when ever he got angry!" I get up and walk towards the door. "Why? So you could enjoy your kiss in peace?" I stop a swing my body round and glare at him. "If I enjoyed it, I wouldn't be here! I would have left with Nick!" Why does he always push and push me until I'm seething with anger? He folds his arms, looking away. "You'd like that wouldn't you? To go sail off into the sunset with him. Not be here with your abnormal boyfriend." He shouts, I have to leave before he says anything else he'll regret.
"Thank you Jackson. " I try and smile, keep calm. "What? What for?" Scrunching his face up. I don't know what that was but I'd like to punch him in the face. I've never been an angry person, but ever since meeting him I've had anger on simmer waiting to bubble over. "For showing me you're true colours, all I wanted was comfort and to feel comfortable telling you something this hard, but you've proved me wrong - all you've given me is grief and insults. I'm leaving now, when you're ready to apologise you know where to find me." I make my way down stairs, I quickly glance at myself in the mirror and I look a mess. My eyes are swollen, my cheeks are bright red, and my hair is something else.

I get to the front door and I hear footsteps coming down the stairs until I see Jackson at the top of the last set. Maybe he's come to apologise, I hope so.
"You'll be waiting a long time if you're waiting for an apology!" He took all that effort just to say that to me? I shake my head and close the door behind me. Maybe I should have gone to America.

I take out my phone and press ring, it connects.
"Hey Beau, remember our travel plan? Let's put it into action." I hang up and make my way home.