jungkook waited since noon for the telephone to ring. he did not let his mom receive the calls because what if it was taehyung in one, how would he ever know? and for the record, he only knows a little about the newly bought telephone.
the first few calls, it was some of the aunts who could not talk to jungkook because of his boarding school. he really did regret saying 'hello' before them, they never waste time striking super long conversations about his school, his course, his achievements, or his goal.
and they keep talking about their own children and compare them to jungkook like always. it was the fifth time.
then his father called, nagged him about not studying, or not helping his mother, or not doing anything productive and being stuck to the telephone like a loafer.
he would have just forgotten about it after that, but the next ring was by taehyung. there was not much that taehyung talked to him about, jungkook could positively say that his parents must be around.
taehyung simply asked jungkook how he was, and if he had eaten properly. jungkook lied both times, it was better if he does not worry taehyung at the moment. it made him giddy at the fact that taehyung was concerned for him, it was not new to him but it is different to perceive that taehyung thinks about him even when he is not around.
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jungkook did not want to think about how proud his father sounds when he talks about his younger brother, or how bright his mother feels when his brother's girlfriend is there to have dinner with them. all the light is beamed on his brother. but that does not bother him as half as when his father eagerly mocks him on the dinner table, in front of everyone.
it was after quite long that he cried a tear in the dark. the god that they talked about does not love jungkook enough, he was getting sure.
he thanked himself that he misled his family, saying that the break is only for a day and not for a week, just to get rid of them, and perhaps by their response it felt to jungkook that they felt the same.
the sky was cloudy, unlike last night. but he told his heart that he was not any better here. he always hated the idea of boarding schools, like they had no sense of individuality, or unity present. that they kept you in, and raise you with no appreciation.
he always wanted to run away from the school, he wanted to be out of it forever. but he realized that there is nowhere else to go. the world is much, much harsher than he believed due to the cars and buildings.
he understood that god had space for him somewhere better than his own home. the boarding school is not the confinement he had thought. it has the protection from monsters he is away from.
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taehyung was all alone in his house, he was laying on his bed quietly, asking himself where his stars went. who stole the universal stars? who could ever reach there?
he was tired of getting hurt and staying silent. he told jungkook he wanted to speak even if they don't listen, he wanted to do it for himself. he was taehyung, he had a greater purpose, jungkook made him believe that.
he wondered if min became a star after, totally away from this world. in a better place, in better days. or what if he is still here? taehyung wonders if min ever looked at him, or if taehyung is the closest to him, now that he lies lonely for days.
he wonders if min was alive, he might get to meet taehyung and jungkook. or if they both died, they would take care of min up there, if ever that is. he wondered what it would be like to stay with jungkook long enough to raise a child together. has jungkook imagined that far?
whatever it was, it made him want to hear jungkook's voice. he went to find his shoulder bag, and grab the recorder inside of it. jungkook's message was saved, he saw.
"hello, this-this is jungkook, i'm seventeen years old. i'm sitting at this bus stop with taehyung, we-we're gonna buy ice cream."
oh, it broke his heart. jungkook's voice pierced holes in his bravery, that was not his best feature, but he kept it visible.
"no, we're not."
"but you said that ice cream is better than chocolate, and you said we will get it on friday."
"uh, i, jungkook, we'll talk later. record the message first."
"but i don't know what to say."
how could he ever tell jungkook that jungkook balled his whole world without a question? how could he tell the pretty boy that he never had someone for this long? how could he tell him that taehyung is not strong without him, not happy, not as careless without jungkook?
he did not have the voice to tell himself to drink up his tears as always. but he was back to being alone, with multiple scars and bruises, a ton more than before. jungkook was not there to give him the strength of intrepidity, he could cry all he wanted.
he wished he could tell jungkook that he makes this bleeding inferno a little bearable.
taehyung paused his scooter far from the school grounds, he wanted to check jungkook's dorm window on the high levels, just because he missed him. it was super dark but he fairly saw his body on the upper bunk bed of his lightened room. he knew it was jungkook, so he waved, in dear hopes of meeting the prettiest boy.
he might have gone crazy or someone, jungkook, actually waved back at him. and he was a goner at the response like his heart could not take the fact that they spent twenty-four hours without each other. he certainly was not making that same mistake again.
his eyes went blind when the cuddly boy ran out of the school with his backpack accompanying him. taehyung would be a fool to not catch jungkook in a big hug right there, right then. he never missed anyone or anything greater than jungkook and his being.
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你又何必感慨
⫽there's no need for you to be so deeply affected⫽
