𝒉𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 ( 𝑬𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝑻𝒐𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒐)

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧

Once he got a taste of freedom again, he longs for the fresh air on his skin more than he did before.

Ethan finds himself waiting impatiently for Willow to return home from work, to quickly finish dinner and then heading out in the dark.

Their walks have become longer and longer every time and Willow joked about walking all the way up to London where the rest of his band is staying.

He doesn't like thinking about them, not to get him wrong, he adores his friends, it is what he puts them through by not being with them that makes him change the subject anytime Willow mentions them.

With every walk they take, they walk closer together. When before they would shyly move closer when the wind would pick up and they'd use the other as a windshield, now they hold onto each other's hands as soon as they leave the house.

There was no agreement to that and they can't recall who reached out for who's hand first but they took it as part of their routine.

Crazy to think that within just a few days they have already established a routine with each other. Another part of it being the left over cookies Willow brings from the café for them to nibble on.

They are on one of their walks when Willow suddenly says "Ada is coming back in two days".

And just like that their routine would be broken, with Ada being back Ethan knows he has to leave, go and join back with his friends and apologise to them as much as he can.

He doesn't realise he stopped walking until he feels Willows hands on his shoulders her face only centimeters from his with a question mark written all over hers.

"What is going on in this pretty little mind of yours", she jokes with a chuckle but Ethan can hear how forced it sounds, the usual faint smile that usually plays around her lips is gone.

"I don't know if I am ready to leave yet".

It sounds pathetic and he hates himself for it, he shrugs off her hands and reaches into the pocket of his Jacket to pull out the box of cigarettes Willow got at the store for him and his lighter that he bought at a cheap souvenirs store in Rome with a blurry picture of the Colosseum on it.

Hiding his embarrassment behind a cigarette and his curtain of dark hair, Willow doesn't know how to reach him without pushing him into a corner, he needs to talk to her.

For Willow there is no other way to a solution but that he starts to open up to her, at least a tiny bit would help.

"Let's sit".

It's not a question but a demand and Willow points to a lonely bench that is illuminated by an orange streetlight, the only on one the street besides that one it is completely dark.

"Tell me".

Another demand and Ethan doesn't need any more clarification about what she means, he knows and he has been dreading this moment.

"You'll think I am crazy", he takes a drag from his cigarette and blows the smoke into the night air, both of them watching it disappear in the dark.

"I can't promise that I'll understand but I'll try"

She edges closer to him so that their sides touch, he looks out into the distance not daring a glimpse at her that might be the cause for him to keep his mouth shut.

"Everyone thinks we are the golden ones now, that we are living the dream of rockstars ready to conquer the world but that's only half of our reality these days".

Ethan takes another drag of his cigarette like he needs the smoke to cloud his mind before he continues to speak into the dark night.

"There is a price for fame you are willing to pay when it gets offered to you for the first time, of course we all were over the moon after suddenly reaching so many people beyond our own countries borders."

"Suddenly going out in your own city to go to lunch with your family becomes a game of hide and seek, constantly being photographed or secretly recorded really starts to mess with you".

She must think I am incredibly ungrateful for what I have.

"We love our fans that enjoy the music we make and like the messages we try to bring across with our songs and our performances, having little conversations with them after shows or meeting them on the street to take selfies feels so rewarding most of the times.

But sometimes I feel like I am being chased around by blood hounds and I am the fox trying to find a place to hide for awhile to catch my breath."

"I know that the other three have my back just as much as I have theirs but I can't help but feel like they enjoy being famous more than I do and I hate to be the person to ruin the fun just because I get anxious from being cornered by fans and paparazzi".

His cigarette is burnt out and he chucks it on the ground in front of the bench they are sitting on, focusing his eyes on the cigarette butt as if it is the most mesmerising thing he has ever seen.

"Your fears are valid Ethan",Willow speaks when she realises that he is done with his monologue.

"I don't know anything about your friends but by the way you have described them to me I can tell that they won't judge you for being anxious or overwhelmed from time to time".

"I can't imagine what it must feel like to take backroads and hide just for your family to feel safe, being popular sounds incredibly exhausting and it quite honestly sounds like a nightmare from time to time".

She understands.

In his anxious mind he was convinced that anyone he'd tell the whole story to would judge him and call him ungrateful for everything him and his bandmates worked so hard for.

But Willow understands.

"I wish I could do more than just tell you that whenever you need to hide, you'll have a place here", her voice is soft and she wraps her arms around him, pulling him into a side hug.

Her heart is heavy for the boy and if she could take his fears and burn them to ashes she would do so in a heartbeat.

His heart warms at her words, it is somehow reassuring to him that he could always come back to her even though he knows that it probably won't happen anytime soon.

He can't risk putting her into the spotlight by being with her, hearing her opinion of being famous and seeing her idyllic life here shows him that he needs to be careful, for Willows sake and for his own.

Careful not to reveal your secret hideaway to the world and put the girl that saved you into the position of needing to be saved from just the same situation.