The Fates of an Earlier Time

part 13

"Kexing," ZiShu softly spoke, trying to make sure that his tone was as gentle as possible. He had already scared the boy enough, after all, and he felt quite bad about it as it were. Not that he could do much about that now, it was far too late already. All he could really do at this moment was try and figure out how he could do some damage control and keep him from continuing to be scared of him. He did not want him to be scared of him. He wanted Kexing to be calm with him, and not be on his guard. At the very least he could try and keep himself from ruining their already tense relationship further. ZiShu had not thought that his words would have such a drastic affect on the boy, but he should have considering who his master was. "Kexing, I am not actually going to hurt you, I swear. I was just...worried. It is not healthy for you to be eating so little, you know this?" Kexing just bowed his head. 

"I am sorry," Kexing whispered softly, and ZiShu found himself hating the sound of it. He hated how sad and lost Kexing sounded. How horribly upset, as though he had done something majorly wrong. The genuine confusion and worry that coursed through his eyes when ZiShu had threatened to be worse than his Master was...not something ZiShu wanted a repeat of. 

"There is nothing for you to apologize for." ZiShu said sternly. "If anything I am the one who should be apologizing to you. It is on me that you got scared, you did nothing wrong, I should not have said something like that, much less upon knowing the tense relations with your Master." Kexing just kept staring at the table, not willing to even glance up at him. 

"Gongzi," Kexing's words were so quiet that should he not have been listening for them, he most likely would have missed it. It was lucky that he was listening for it. He hummed, to show that he was listening, and Kexing slowly, but steadily continued. "You...do not think that you could truly be worst then Master?" He finally looked up at him, his eyes wide and ZiShu thought that perhaps his fingers were trembling still, but he saw an opportunity, and so he decided to take it. 

"I cannot deny that I am not necessarily a good person, Kexing, but I would never hurt you like your Master." He said gently. "I may not be overly kind, but I always try and treat my servants well, and I try to be fair in everything in my punishments towards them, should they need it." ZiShu sighed heavily. "I have done my fair share of bad things, but I have will never harm you, as long as it is within my power." 

Kexing felt a bitter smile pull at his lips. He would see, when his true self was revealed, if ZiShu truly meant that, or if he was just saying it. Part of him wanted it to be true, but a bigger part of him knew that it was likely not. It was not too bad, though, at the very least he was able to enjoy the small moments that he had with ZiShu before then, and this would give him an opportunity to get closer to Zhao Jing, which considering his position, was definitely important. He would bet the man had a wealth of information and as long as Kexing played his part well enough, he would have the opportunity to get it. Something that he fully intended to do. 

"Promise?" Kexing whispered, his voice gentle and trembling. ZiShu was reminded of a child, latching onto their last hope, and for some reason, it fit Kexing well, in his own head. 

"Of course, I promise." The other gave him a small, still hesitant, but there smile and returned to tapping the wood with his fingers nervously. "I assume that you probably have not had many of the desserts?" 

"Oh, no I have not, Zishu," Kexing spoke softly. 

It made him realize, when Kexing was more anxious and unnerved, he would revert to calling him Gongzi, but once he calmed down and the situation was more or less stable, he would state his name, the one which ZiShu had asked to be called. It did not please him to have Kexing calling him by title, but in the end, he could not hate it either. It gave him some insight into the other's mind, which was highly important. He would be able to somewhat guess the other's moods, which was better than having no indication at all. 

He still spoke his name as though he was speaking a title, soft, gentle, and a little bit reverent, but ZiShu had to acknowledge that he could not get everything, he would take this, considering there was not much more that he could do. He was surprised that he had even managed to get the talk to him like this to him, especially considering how seriously he seems to take his role. He was not ZiShu's servant, but he had been trained quite thoroughly, though ZiShu did not want to think of just how he was trained, the thoughts made him sick to his stomach to think about what could have been done to reprimand him the moment he had done the wrong thing. 

"Then, I shall get some, their pie is very good, you should try some." Kexing's eyes widened in shock, but true to form did not say anything. It was not as though it was hard to get the other to agree. Some well placed words and a harsh tone and the boy crumbled under the pressure of obedience easily. He supposed when one was raised by the Ghost Valley Master to be an obedient servant to the dying breath, one figured out quite easily how to abide by commands, all commands, and the thought made him shudder inwardly once again at the realization of just what Kexing was dealing with. 

"T-Thank you Gongzi," 

"It is no trouble, although afterwards perhaps we should take another walk around the market. Some of the evening stalls should be out. I wish to look through them." ZiShu proclaimed, to which Kexing agreed to easily.