Six Weeks - Act Two // Book Three

Chapter 4

Hearing about Annie Drummond sent me into a weird emotion that I couldn't identify. I was enraged, confused, sad and excited all at once. I thought I'd made my peace with the whole thing surrounding Gwen's organs being donated. Hearing her heart went to someone made me feel like I was going to explode into tiny bits.

But I'd learned how to deal with my emotions in the time since Gwen's death. Or at least, I'd learned how to walk away until I'd calmed down. I punched my fist into the cooler with all the beer bottles and I grabbed one. I tore apart the palm of my hand twisting it open. I tossed the bottle cap into a nearby trash can on my way to a tree that was far enough away for anyone to notice I was reeling.

Her fucking heart? I suppose this should have occurred to me long before this, I knew Gwen's organs were donated. But her heart? I couldn't fathom it.

I pressed my hand into the tree as I lightly kicked my toe against the trunk. My eyes darted back and forth before resting on Joseph and Nancy, both laughing like they hadn't just rocked my world.

I angrily took a long sip of the beer. It tasted like dog piss. Not that I'd ever tasted dog piss.

I tossed the bottle into the trash can, grimacing when it clanged against the inside.

I turned away from the picnic and leaned my back against the tree.

The shame started to set in before I even realized why I was ashamed. I was over this. I'd dealt with Gwen's death.

I-

"They emptied the trash cans in anticipation of the picnic." Samantha suddenly appeared.

I hung my head. I didn't even have to look at her face to know how she was looking at me. She wasn't disappointed which made the shame burn on my skin even worse.

She sighed,

"Her heart..."

I shook my head,

"It doesn't matter."

My default was always going to be pretending like nothing affected me.

She stepped closer to me, her hands pressing into my stomach,

"Don't do that." She whispered.

I reluctantly looked up. The love in her eyes overwhelmed me. There wasn't a hint of anger or disappointment anywhere.

"I love you." I blurted out.

She smiled,

"I know that." She lifted one of her hands to my cheek, "It's ok."

I shook my head,

"I should be done with this."

"Why?" She asked so matter-of-factly it caught me off guard. She shrugged, "I don't know of any schedule for grieving."

I frowned,

"You're being way too understanding about this."

She laughed softly,

"Sorry." She kissed my cheek, "I'm gonna let you do this...but when you're done, Joel is firing up the grill. And I know you won't miss any of his barbecue."

"Ok."

She dropped my hand as she walked away.

This was dumb. Gwen's heart was probably the most important organ she had donated. And it had most definitely saved Annie's life. This stung because it was fresh. In a few days I would be fine.