I wrote this to my dead dog for my psych class:
I keep waking up in the middle of the night and seeing Shasta in my bed and thinking it's you. Sometimes when it's really early in the morning she'll trot by me and I'll think it's you. Sometimes, she just does something that reminds me of you.
And it hurts. And I have to remember to breathe. Because she's not you, and it's not her fault.
I used to hate her ears. They're floppy and soft. I'm quite fond of them now.
You'd be disgusted at how attached I am to her now. I definitely am. Sometimes I'll be at work or have a moment to myself and remember that I haven't seen her since that morning and I'll have the overwhelming urge to drive home just to see her.
I still miss you. Every day. Every damn day. I'll still cry about you at the drop of a hat. I still regret going on that trip and not being with you for that month. I hate that I'll never know if you'd have gotten sick with me home. I know you were old.
She's so dopey compared to you. She's silly. She's really dumb, too. You never ate rocks and sticks. She does that for fun. Oh, and she's really stinky. But we've learned to deal with that. She's so smart. She picks up tricks in less than a day. She's not as protective of me as you were - and what I mean by that is she doesn't go after anna for standing too close to me. But she does resource guard me, we're working on that. Sometimes I wish I was still into showing because she'd be a great show dog. She's got the looks for it. She'd be a winner, just like you.
She stays in bed with me when I'm sick, or when I'm sad- which has definitely been a lot lately. She wants to be near me, which is nice. And I know you wanted to be near me too but your body wouldn't let you.
Thank you for being exactly what I needed for so long. Thank you for getting me through high school. Thank you for loving me even when I didn't deserve it. Thank you for holding on as long as you did.
I hope you know how much I love you and how hard it was for me to let you go. I hope I see you again someday.
I wanna see you again someday.
You were my soul.
PS- everyone knows I hate poetry but if anyone could make me write poetry it's you.
