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Ms.Porter: Hey! We still having tea later tonight at my house?
Me: Yes ma'am 💙
Me and Ms.Porter hang out from time to time, I really enjoy getting her insight since she's been in this world longer than me. So tonight I agreed to meet with her after I'm done with all of my errands.
After I sent that text, I got out the car, looking at all the graves at this cemetery. Decided to pay him a visit today.
"Hey.. Brought you some roses.." I said as I squatted down, looking down at Ja'Von's gravestone.
Ever since I broke up with Roddy... I guess for good this time, I've been in a rut.
Emotionally unstable, unavailable, whatever you wanna call it. I'm just not the same.
I feel like I'm back to square one, before I met him.
I sat the roses on Ja'Von's grave and just sighed. I sat down on the grass and wrapped my arms around my legs, rocking back and forth. A tear fell out of my face, just thinking about everything I've been going through.
"My emotions been off the wall lately for months... I've been trying to be private but now since I'm a public figure it's kind of hard. But I know you would've told me to keep my head up through these bad times, and to never let anyone get the best of me." I said, then I just looked down at the grave and shook my head.
"Sometimes I still can't believe you're not here. It's just not real to me. I can't wrap my head around it, even still. But I can never question God, and I won't." I said.
"I really feel like I've reach a point of loneliness.. Just hopeless." I mumbled wiping my tears, and I took a deep breath.
"Serenity?" I heard someone say, I turned around and seen King, Ja'Von's best friend.
"King." I said rolling my eyes, he sighed.
"Can we not act like this in front of his grave?" He asked me.
"Act like what?" I asked.
"Like this.. Like we mad at each other" King said.
"Well I think he'd be very disappointed if he knew how you've been treating me lately, and disrespecting me over the internet." I said.
"Don't you think he'd be disappointed if he knew you moved on?" He asked.
"No, because he kept saying to go on with my life if anything happened to him and to be happy. You must not know your best friend like you think you do. Ja'Von was the most loving, selfless human being I ever met. He was never selfish. And he would never want me to be depressed for the rest of my life." I said.
He looked down at Ja'Von's headstone, then he looked around and I scrunched my eyebrows.
