You Always Remember Vegas

Chapter 14

We enter the beautiful monastery. I stare at the breathtaking garden and buildings. It seems so peaceful, I'm contemplating becoming a monk. Although, I know it's very hard for there to be female monks. I would usually comment on sexism but I don't really care right now. But it's still absolutely gorgeous.  

I wonder if people can get married here? 

"What is this, a P.F. Chang's?" Alan remarks. 

"Ah, they're meditating," Stu observes as we continue to walk. "Such peaceful people."

"Yeah," Phil agrees. 

"Knock, knock!" I mentally facepalm myself as Alan yells at the monks meditating. All of them turn their heads to look at us. "Hello?!"

"Alan, stop," I tell him as the man in the front stands up. 

"We brought one of your guys back," Alan says. "He's really funny. He's really nice and cool." 

"Hi, how you doin'?" Phil asks the monk that approaches us. "Uh, are you in charge?" 

My mouth falls open as the monk hits Phil in the face with a stick. He then hits Alan and Stu in the stomach. My instincts tell me to run, so I run a few feet away, lucky that he doesn't chase after me. I realize that he's only hitting them because they're talking. I don't say a word and wait for them to realize it themselves. 

"Sh! Sh!" Phil raises his hands in surrender. "No talk. No talk."

The monk walks up to me, nodding. I nod back and he motions for us to follow him. We follow him inside of a temple with the old man. He goes up to the man lighting candles, whispering in his ear. 

The man turns around, beginning to speak. "Late last night, you climbed that walls of our monastery, shouting out questions about love, marriage, and the meaning of life. Poor brother Han was meditating alone in the garden," He gestures at the older monk. "And you took him."

"Oh, my God," Stu puts his head in his hand ashamed. "We kidnapped a monk." 

"Uh, we live an alternative lifestyle," Alan tells the man. 

"We are so sorry about that," I apologize to the monk. "But we weren't ourselves last night." 

"Yup, things kinda spun outta control a little bit," Stu continues. "But there's a boy who's missing and hurt. Can you find out if he knows where our friend is?" 

"Brother Han took a vow of silence many years ago," The monk informs us. "It would be useless to try." 

"Well, maybe he can write down what happened on a piece of paper?" Phil suggests. 

"Actually, Phil, that would be cheating," Alan comments before looking at the monk. "Isn't that right, Grand Wizard?" 

"Alan," I shake my head. 

"I'm afraid fatty is right," The monk says. 

"See? What?" Alan gives him an offended look. 

"None of us will ever know what brother Han knows," The monk explains. 

"Great," I huff. "Just great." 

"Come on, let's go. Bunch of bald assholes," Phil mutters before pointing at the monk. "You know what? FYI: You may wanna put some signs up that say, "No talking" before you unleash your dragon," He points at the other monk that hit them. 

"Yeah, that was a little rough," Stu nods. 

"And you're welcome for bringing him back safe," Phil adds. "You know, we found him in a drunk tank."