In The Darkest Night

A Man

You couldn't trick death.

It didn't matter if you moved a mountain, dried the sea, stopped the earth from rotating, or liquidated the sun.

What had gone couldn't come back.

Blessed with a very developed brain, arms, legs, and all of the senses, humans could do anything they wanted but to turn back time.

What they said about the time was the most precious thing in life was true after all.

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A man who had a hand for caressing was also a man who had a hand for lashing.

Andre was one.

In our ten years of marriage, he was a sweet and a hard man at the same time. He opened the door for me, pulled out my chair at every table, brought me roses every weekend, set up the bathtub. He had caressed every part of me, my skin, my hair, my soul, in the most blissful way.

"Falling in love is easy, Dea. But deciding which one you want to spend the rest of your life with is hard, "he said.

"Does that mean sometimes you don't love the person you're with?"

"The truth is, yes sometimes. "Not all the time.

I didn't understand what he was talking about that night, nor today, nor ever.

I saw his coffin being slowly lowered six feet under. The priest was whispering prayers in Italian that I didn't understand.

There were not many people here. Andre was only close to his family and his two other friends. They were all here wearing black. His mother wore sunglasses to cover her puffy eyes, and his father stood beside her, holding her shoulder and rubbing her hand once or twice when she cried louder.

Her cry was getting louder as the coffin was finally buried. She looked up at me with a face that I couldn't describe.

"Leave the house, will you?" she said.

Her husband whispered a disagreement in her ears. This might not be the right time. But then she cried, even more, disagreed.

"She is going to bring somebody, she'll make the house dirty!"

I was speechless. All the words were taken away from me. Andre's mother has never liked me since the first day we were together.

His friends were still there, looking at me with pitiful eyes, then walked away. They respected that this should be just a talk between his parents and me.

"My other half just died. I haven't left his grave yet. I am just as sad as you. But if that is what you want, then I'll leave, "I said.

I have nobody. No one was going to defend me or take me into their shelter. But there was no way I could say no to her.

The sky was getting darker as the sunset moved to the west. Everyone left, and now there were just Andre and me.

His name is engraved beautifully on his gravestone, made of marble.

A man who had a hand for caressing was also a man who had a hand for lashing.

Andre was one.

In the ninetieth year of our marriage, he cheated on me.

He went to work at nine and home at eleven almost every day. I was very stereotypical of a wife who would get suspicious about her husband coming home late.

But he was never being true. He smiled, he laughed, told me jokes, and we made love all night.

Until my uni mate, Andreana, called me that night.

"Hey Dea, I was wondering if you had something to do tomorrow?" She asked. Then the next day we ended up sitting at a local bakery.

She was beautiful. She wore a bodycon dress and her hair was flowing down her back.

She greeted me with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then she pulled out a red plastic folder.

I expected nothing, nor did I question what she was doing until she pulled out so many pictures. There are selfies and pictures taken by somebody from different places. It was the picture of Andre and her.

They've been dating. Now I know the girl he cheated over me.

"I'm not saying Sorry, Dea. I can't pick who I'm going to fall in love with." She said.

My heart shattered into pieces betrayed by a friend and a husband at the same time. Everything fell apart before my eyes.

"Dea, you're a good friend. I hope you would give me a chance with Andre. We love each other. Andre and Andreana sound like a couple, right? "

I left with no words.

The next day, Andre kicked me out of our house. He knew I couldn't accept this and he made a decision.

I left with nothing but heartbreak.

His mother had called me just to express how happy she was when her son was finally off of me. She made sure to tell me all of their good times as an act of revenge for four wasted years with me.

I was walking in the middle of the night looking for food near the donut store when suddenly my phone started ringing. Andre called me.

His voice was low, soft, and almost like whispering. He was telling me that had been diagnosed with breast cancer and spent his days on a hospital bed.

"I'm sorry for what I did." He said, then I came back for him just like that.

He was struggling. He lost weight, hair, and most of all, he lost his dignity after Andreana left him. He passed away in the middle of his journey to heal.

- 

The stars had started to show. The night air was cold as I walked out of the cemetery.

He stopped loving me, then he fell in love with another woman.

Falling in love was easy, but deciding which one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with was hard. Even he was not successful with that.

Also, time was indeed the most precious thing in life.

I didn't know who was the one wasting their time. It could have been him in the last year of our marriage, or it could have been me, who willingly returned but was still thrown out on the street after he died.

I couldn't trick death. He is gone now and nothing was left between us. 

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