Blackish Blue

Black and blue

CIARAS POV

Everyone knows my life is not perfect. In fact it’s as pretty as a train wreck but I have to hold on to this railing even if the door is open and I feel like I might fall out any minute now. I have to keep pretending that it is.

I look down at my kindle and I realize –not for the first time- that it rescues me. When I read a good book I feel like I can forget about my problems and focus on somebody else’s, so obviously I am always reading a book.

I put on some lip-gloss and look at my coral nail polish that I just had to get from H&M the other day.

“Ciara, if you want any breakfast you better come and get it now!!” calls my mum. “I’m holding on to the last piece of bacon for you but I don’t think I can fight the boys off for much longer.”

“I’m on my way” I yell back

I cake on another layer of makeup to cover my latest little purple friend. My mum tells me I use too much makeup and that I’m beautiful the way I am but she doesn’t understand and I can’t tell her; I can’t break her heart and freak her out like that.

My boyfriend is called Jesse and I love him and he loves me back (I think he does)

We’re the perfect couple; me and Jesse at least that’s what it seems but lately I’m not so sure

“Ciara!! Jeez what’s taking so long?”

Nothing just covering up my bruises but of course I don’t say that out loud.

“Honey, Jesses here to pick you up”

“Jesse?!”

“What’s wrong? Are you two fighting?

“No, I’m just shocked?”

“Hi Ciara” coos Jesse as he gives me a light kiss on my face and touches my hip; the hip he bashed in less than 24 hours ago.

“You okay?” he asks as we walk out to his car.

“I’m fine “I say sarcastically

“Look, I’m sorry. I just don’t know what came over me. I’m really stressed out right now. You know I love you. Come on babe I said I was sorry” and before I can say anything his hands are roaming up and down my sides, tickling me.

“Jesse that hurts” I yell as I gasp for air. That’s the rib I’m sure he’s bruised, but he doesn’t mean to hurt me, does he? No, of course not, he loves me and he is going through a lot with his mum and dad getting a divorce, but he’s not a child, he needs to suck it up.

Nobody knows that he hits me. I hide it really well because I don’t want to hurt him any more than he already is. He will stop eventually.

‘What are you thinking about?” asks Jesse

“Nothing, just how I can’t believe we’re in our senior year” I lie through my teeth as I stare out the window.

I jerk forward as the car stops suddenly.

JESSES POV

“Ciara, don’t you dare lie to me” I warn.

“I’m not lying”

“Ciara-“

“But I’m not lying to you” she says and I can tell she’s tearing up but I couldn’t care less at the moment

I hit her face with the back of my hand as I ask “You’re not thinking of leaving me are you?”

“I’m not” she says in tears.