Jude and His Ray of Sunshine

Chapter 2: Lies & Unexpected Visitors

Sunny's POV
It's only Day One and I'm already lying about why I moved here. And God, I had to lie to my super hot neighbor, too! He must think I'm such a loser.

"Hi, honey! How did the talk with Jude go?" Mom asks me as she enters the house with Dad. They stayed longer at the Birks' house after I left.

"It was... fine. I think I could make a friend out of him."

"That's good. A son from that wonderful family has got to be such a sweetheart."

"He's a player just by the looks of him, Mom. I was surprised he even wanted to have a conversation with me."

"Just because he's a player doesn't mean he's a bad person."

"I've dated guys like him. I just don't trust him."

Mom sighs. "When are you gonna let people in again? It's been almost over a year, Sun."

"No matter how much time passes I'll never get over it."

"No one will," she tells me as she rubs my back. "But we need to start moving on with our lives. It's what Laila would have wanted."

A silent tear streams down my cheek. "I know. I'm trying my best."

"And that's all we can ask for," Dad encourages me as he kisses my head. "Now why don't we say we have a movie night?"

"That sounds nice, but I'm just going to go up to bed."

"Alright, honey."

I get two nervous glances considering it's only a little after two in the afternoon as I head upstairs and into my bedroom.

Ugh. I am definitely not looking forward to cleaning out all of these boxes tomorrow.

I lay on top of the mattress set up without the bedsheets and stare at the ceiling feeling nothing but empty and numb. I hate that I'm here. My parents had the audacity to move me all the way out to this itty-bitty seaside town where I doubt I'll make any friends. I didn't have any friends in Delaware, so why would I have any here? I don't deserve to be here; I'm a failure to my family. I don't deserve to be on this earth anymore; life is getting too hard to bear.

I roll up my sweatshirt sleeve and grab at my arms forcefully, hopefully leaving marks where my fingernails are digging. Little red marks appear all along my arm, and the sight just makes me cry harder. I do this for hours until I physically feel like I can't breathe anymore. Two panic attacks later and I'm laying in my bed staring at the ceiling once again.

"Sunny?" I hear a whisper from outside my door. Ugh, Dad is the last person I want to hear from right now. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

There's silence outside of the door. Dad knows by now that there's not much he can do and that it's better to leave me alone than come in here and have me spew insults I don't mean at him.

"Your appointment is tomorrow at noon."

"Okay," I sob. "Please just leave me alone."

"Alright, Sun. There's pizza downstairs if you want it."

I don't want it. I don't deserve to eat. I deserve to die.

...

Somewhere in the midst of my mental breakdown I feel asleep and abruptly awoke around 10 pm. God, my sleep schedule is fucked up. I'm glad I slept though; it's been days since I've slept a full three hours or more.

I flip my TV onto Netflix and put on Dawson's Creek—my comfort show. Dawson is just about to confess his feelings to Joey when I hear a knock at my window. What the fuck?

When I see who it is, I'm even more alarmed.

"Jude? What are you doing here? And why are you sitting in a tree?" I gasp once I open the window.

"I wanted to talk, and your room is upstairs... so I climbed the tree."

"Come on," I say as I pull him inside. "You know, now's not really a good time."

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Making you uncomfortable earlier. I should've backed off."

"Jude, it's okay. I'll admit I was being a bit of an overreacting bitch."

"Nah. You weren't."

"I was. And I want to apologize for that. It's just that some things... set me off, I guess."

"Don't worry about it," he reassured me. "Everyone has something that makes them tick. Yours just happens to be why you moved here. So, we won't talk about that."

"Then what do we talk about?" I whisper as he sits down against my bed on the floor next to me.

"Anything and everything. For starters, are you Team Dawson or Team Pacey?"

I chuckle. "Team Pacey, duh."

"Good choice. I think we'll get along just fine, Sunny Ray."

"Right back at you, Jude Birks."