"Oh. my. GOD. My fifteen - thousand dollar diamond and stainless steel earring FELL INTO THE OCEAN!" Kim Kardashian cried out while live streaming on her one million dollar yacht. "This is truly a tragedy!" she said while buying eighteen more pairs of the exact same earring on her five thousand dollar MacBook.
"Kim calm down." Ronald McDonald sympathetically said, but you could tell he was annoyed with her constant complaining. Ronald decided to leave Kim alone because she is known to get violent, so he went back to turning more kids into Big Mac's to stock Mcdonal's pantries with the best selling item there.
DaBaby was another passenger on this yacht cruise and he was really excited about it because he got to spend time with Kim, he felt like they were slowly drifting apart. DaBaby looked at the water from the Yacht and began beaming from ear to ear exclaiming "Let's go!" and jumped into the water. Everyone gasped seeing DaBaby jump right into a shark's mouth. While DaBaby was getting eaten by the shark he was screaming "Let's not go!" and that was his last words before he died. Everyone was somber after DaBaby's death, especially Ronald McDonald who stopped turning kids into big mac's. Kim K. was really sad because DaBaby was her bestie but she got over it and ordered a clone of DaBaby so she wouldn't be alone again.
Ronald McDonald ran out of kids so he just decided to sunbathe for a little while, just to add some complexion to his whiter than snow skin. They all sat in the sun for another four hours until it started going down and they decided to head back to the shore to get some type of food.
Kim can't make any decision by herself so she asked them where they should get food and Ronald said while winking, "Mcdonalds, I have more secret ingredients I have made."
"Let's goooo!" Dababy's clone enthusiastically said while doing random hand signs, he thought it looked cool.
"Does McDonald's have any calories?" Kim questioned desperately
"Y-yeah sure Kim." Ronald responded obviously lying but Kim believed he was telling the truth, so they began heading to the shore so they could drive to McDonald's. Soon enough they arrived at the shore and at the time it had gotten dark and they got in the car. DaBaby rapped something in the back seat while Kim and Ronald were talking in the front seats. It was peaceful for Kim listening to Ronald talk about the big Mac's and how tasty they were and how good the secret ingredient is for you and your mental health. DaBaby's clone was enjoying his own rapping in the back seat so he started to vibe with the calmness the others were radiating. They arrived at Mcdonald's to see that Micheal Jackson and Billie Jean, John Cena and his wife, as well as Donald Trump were there.
"HEY KIM! CAN YOU SEE ME?" John Cena said while waving his hand in-front of his face. Kim wanted to play along with John's games, so she said no. Micheal Jackson and Ronald McDonald started instantly hitting it off talking about kids. DaBaby's clone sat next to Billie Jean and showed her his rapping skills. Kim decided to sit next to John's wife, Shay, and they instantly hit it off talking about their husbands. After a while Kim had to use the bathroom so she shuffled away like a rich person would.
Kim took so long in the bathroom that John Cena and his wife went to go check on her, Micheal Jackson was bored so he went to go see what was happening to the bathroom, and Donald Trump left. Micheal had hee-hee'd into the bathroom. Later, after a few minutes, Kim K. and everyone went outside and got in the car, not wondering where Micheal Jackson and Ronald McDonald had gone. DaBaby clone had reported to detectives Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe that he heard yelling from the bathroom and then later, in the alley behind the McDonald's. Ronald McDonald walked into the gender neutral bathroom and walked out holding hands with Micheal Jackson, making them the main suspects of the investigation. Then after a worker at the corporation had realized that they had been in there for a while. When they walked into the gender neutral bathrooms, what they saw was horrifying and traumatizing.
They had seen an unflushed toilet! As well as a pool of blood with John Cean and his Wife's body but that isn't as important. Donald Trump was also reported missing shortly after the murder so it was possible that Donald Trump who was MIA(missing in action) was somehow connected to the murder. When the cops arrived about ten minutes later, after us workers had called, they had closed the restaurant for days. There was no business for days, weeks, almost even multiple months, just to figure out this murder. Everything was a clue for this murder; a hair on the floor, an unflushed toilet, even a DIAMOND EARRING!
The detectives were stumped but they kept working hard and were able to eliminate Kim from the suspect lists, so only Micheal, Ronald and Donald were the main suspects.
Donald Trump's wife had reported a month after Donald's disappearance someone sent her a ransom note that said "Give Me Thirteen Acorns Or You'll Never See Your Precious Trumpie Again." That note had been anonymously written but the detectives were able to pinpoint the handwriting to Micheal Jackson.
Multiple news stations had gone to film Micheal Jackson's arrest.
"Mr. Jackson, can you explain what you're doing in this photo?" One news reporter asked Micheal while holding up a photo of him and Ronald forcefully putting Donald Trump the hee-hee mobile.
"That's not me!" Micheal yelled at the news reporter.
"That's not you?" the news reporter asked Michael again, a little more forcefully.
"That is not me." Micheal replied, balling his eyes out.
Hearing Micheal cry was one truly sad scene, mostly because he never cried, the only time he cried was when one of the kids escaped his basement. He was absolutely terrified when that kid had escaped. Luckily, he got the kid back before anyone could notice.
The sound of his high pitched sobs were a shock to the nation, because the sobs sounded like he was singing "Thriller".
The detectives went inside his house where they found Ronald McDonald, hiding under the couch, with his pet chinchilla named "Corndust". The entire time Ronald had been gone, he had been living in Micheals' basement, making kids into Big Macs while livestreaming ASMR on tiktok . Luckily, Michael was able to hide the evidence before cops could get it, when they ransacked his house for it earlier. They had found a very powerful lock on Ebay, that only he could take off with the power of his hee-hees, the basement door. If the detectives ever tried to unlock that door, they couldn't because they did not possess the power of his angelic Hee-hees. The sound of hee-hees belonged only to, the one and only, smooth criminal AKA Micheal Jackson. If anyone even tried so much as to record him doing the hee-hee, he would obliterate their blood line and even after the basement would not be unlocked.
Later, Melania Trump reported to detectives Presley and Monroe that she had been getting moldy, half-cut oranges in the mail, anonymously.
"I'm sick and tired of this! It needs to stop, I want my husband home!" Melania exclaimed to the detectives.
"I know, I know. We're working on that Mrs. Trump. It's a work in progress. Micheal Jackson doesn't have enough evidence against him yet to arrest him, and we can't let him know we're catching onto his smooth crimes. He may be a smooth criminal, but sometimes, even not he, can be the smoothest of all the criminals. " Detective Presely spoke.
Marilyn shook her head in agreement.
" I trust y'all, but I need him here. I NEED TO STOP BEING HARASSED WITH ORANGES!" Melania yelled while sobbing first lady tears. Elivs Presly broke out into song singing about a "hunka hunka burnin love".
"We're trying our best, and we have the best detectives and police on our side. We're going to catch who kidnapped your husband ma'am, and figure out who murder John Cena and his wife, but that's for later after we find your husband and who did not FLUSH THAT DANG TOILET." Presley again, explained in disgust.
All Marilyn did was stare off into space, she wasn't much of a help, but they needed all the help they could get, so they stuck with what they had.
