If Only You Knew (Modified English Version)

THREE

"Loving you may seem out of reach but it will never be too far for someone who is ready to go in any lengths."

-Tim

***

I HAVE ALWAYS thought that love is a great feeling.

Of course, it doesn't mean that two people would not go down a rough road and wouldn't be able to encounter circumstances but, I still think that falling in love is easy as long as you are enough and that you're giving your all to the person you love the most.

And having someone to fall in love with you who you thought you never had a chance with is impressive.

That's what I believe in not until today. Nallie made me rethink and questioned that belief a million times now.

As I was still figuring out what went wrong, I couldn't understand it more—dragging myself in the bottomless pit where I keep drowning myself to realize that I'm not loved anymore.

I feel like I am so lost, and I couldn't find my way out. I'm not too fond of this feeling. I feel like a loser, and I feel like I'm not enough. What's worse is that it genuinely is painful when the girl you thought loves you so much is someone that could let you go that easily, just like that.

I still remember how she asked me to follow her around. Granting her wants to simply make her smile is on top of my priority list. No matter how busy I am, I would go straight to her whenever and wherever she asked me to. Her time is more valued than mine. Picking her up has been my job, and eating with her is a routine. I sometimes forget myself utterly to please her. Thinking about what I did wrong all this time is frustrating.

Her slap stung on my face, but it's my heart that took the impact.

I'm not saying that I am a perfect boyfriend because there is no such thing. But I would say that I showed her my love the way that I know she would be love.

To put it in simple words, I've done my part in showing her how much I love her.

But there's only one thing that I asked her. It's more like a request. And I guess that's what she truly wants and a wish that I couldn't grant. Nallie hated the idea real hard.

To leave my best friend is a different matter.

In the first place, she's not doing anything wrong with her. And more importantly, she's my best friend. That says it all. So why did Nallie would ask me for something so ridiculous? That's so absurd.

And who would make her boyfriend choose between his best friend and herself? For me, it isn't even fair!

Being a girlfriend is far more different from having a best friend. It's like she was comparing something incomparable. Those are two other things that don't even need to be put together in comparison.

I blew a loud breath and slammed my body on my bed, throwing my bag somewhere inside my room. That's the least of my concern now.

I closed my eyes and covered it with my right arm. I don't want to think anymore. I feel like my brain would go out of my head. And I sure am having a real headache, so I was thinking of having some sleep to lessen my mind from overthinking at all when I heard my door creaking.

Did I forget to lock the door?

"Honey, why are you home already? Are you done with your class?" A sweet voice echoed in the four corners of my room.

Oh, it was my mom. I didn't bother to look at her. I don't want her to see me like this, so I pretended that I would be sleeping.

"Yeah," I responded lazily.