Maddie Can Never Know

Maddie Knows

Maddie had gotten him to agree to some joint therapy sessions with their parents. He appreciated the sentiment, he did. That didn't stop him from 'accidentally' picking up a shift for when the appointment was scheduled. And, oh no, now there weren't any openings before his parents had to leave again. But to his teams and Maddie's knowledge, he'd still managed to go with them.

A little white lie never hurt anyone.

He'd ridden the high of escaping the awful mess that that would've turned out to be into believing that maybe he would manage to not have to see them again before they left.

He was wrong. He should've known Maddie wouldn't leave things as they were, that she'd get a hold of his schedule and essentially strong arm him into one last dinner with them. As if the other two hadn't gone disastrously enough.

So here he was in Maddie's apartment, in the kitchen with his Father, putting the dishes in the sink and refilling drinks, while Maddie and their mom chatted in the living room.

"You should apologize to your mother." His dads voice shattered the silence. "About all those things you said."

And oh, he should've realized sooner that his dad was mad, and that he just hadn't said anything that day at the firehouse.

He kept on loading the dishes into the dishwasher, not giving any indication that he'd heard his dad. Eddie's words bouncing around in his skull.

Did you say anything that wasn't true?

And maybe, he was just a little bit braver than he'd thought he was.

"Are you listening to me!" His dad demanded.

On second thought, he was probably just stupider. He still didn't respond though, continuing to load the silverware into the dishwasher.

His dad's hand shot out suddenly reaching out to grab him, but Buck flinched back, barely registering the sting where his hand was gripped around the sharp end of a knife.

"And here I thought you'd become a man." His dad huffed, "I see you still are acting like a stupid little kid. I guess it doesn't matter that your a big bad firefighter now, you'll never stop being a coward."

Buck stayed silent, he'd learned long ago that that was the best way to weather the storm that was his father's anger.

"Seriously? you're still not going to say anything." His dad said, anger clearly growing as he slammed the glass that had been in his hand down on the counter.

He stayed silent, watching his dad carefully, ready to bolt if need be.

"First you stand your mother up, when she and your sister tried to get us all in to see that Doctor." He said, gesturing a bit too wildly for Buck's comfort. "And now you won't even acknowledge me when I tell you to apologize."

His voice was steadily growing both louder and darker, never a good sign, but still Buck remained still and silent.

"Was your childhood really so bad that you can't even give your mother that?" His face was growing red, his spit was starting to fly a bit too, "you didn't have it that bad, you had a roof over your head and food in your stomach, you should be grateful. So what if I hit you sometimes, we still gave you everything you needed."

"You did what?" A voice said from the doorway, soft and stricken.

Buck whipped his head around, and no, God, no, no, no. This couldn't be happening.

"Maddie?" His dad's voice rung out across the suddenly silent kitchen.

"You hit him?" Maddie said eyes flicking between the two of them.