After the first unsuccessful attempt at reaching the unknown presence once more, Lan Zhan went home to study some more. He did not tell anything to his uncle, he still had a gut feeling that it would not be a good decision. Instead, he borrowed his brother's advanced books and he immerged himself in research.
Days went by and he was slowly but surely going through Lan Xichen's whole library. He had a bad feeling that he did not ask for permission and his sense of righteousness was warning him that he should probably not do that. Yet, he was calming himself with the knowledge that should his brother be here, he would have surely allowed him to borrow his books. He would probably be overjoyed that Lan Zhan wanted to go ahead with his studies and would have encouraged him and helped him.
Unfortunately, Lan Xichen was still down in the mortal realm and he had no means of reaching out to him. Not that it was necessary, strictly speaking. The books contained just what he needed and he soon felt informed enough to go and have another try at connecting with that unknown and soothing presence to which he felt strangely drawn.
This time around, he believed he was confident enough he would be able to succeed. Or at least get in touch with that other presence. He was very curious about it, he had never felt anything quite like it and he wanted to discover what exactly it was: if it was a new form of life he had never encountered before or if it was actually a consciousness of another god.
He did not know how it would be possible for a god to be all the way in the outskirts or how it could be that he had never seen anyone there, only felt that warm presence, but he was not thinking about it too hard. He could figure it out once he would be able to connect with the presence and examine it up close. If it would be indeed someone like him, he could perhaps even be able to start a conversation. He was hoping that if that would be the case, he would no longer feel so lonely, perhaps the other would actually be willing to listen to him like his brother always did.
But he was getting ahead of himself, he knew that fully well. He had not even managed to actually come so close to the presence that he would be able to examine it and determine its nature. All he was now hoping could come to be just his wishful thinking. Still, it somehow felt right, deep down. As if he actually knew that presence from somewhere. Thought that was not possible, he would have surely remembered.
Unless he had known in his previous lives which he had forgotten during his reincarnation and no one was allowed to enlighten him on anything. It was how the heavenly realm worked; if a god somehow had his physical body destroyed, he would be forced to reincarnate into a new one, a body of a child. Each god aged differently depending on their studies and willingness to take upon them their assigned duties. Once they accepted them, they became adults.
So it was no wonder that he was the youngest amongst all the gods of the Heavenly Court. He was so unsure of his abilities to do his job well that even the always lazy Jin Zixuan, the god of wealth and power, had become a full fletched god before him regardless of the fact that he had reincarnated several years after him. The wars in the mortal realms in which the gods often partook in were not merciful and many of them had to reincarnate in the last centuries.
Other gods often called him a late bloomer and were first encouraging him, then forcing him, to try and do his duties, surely hoping that he would miraculously get a hang of it and finally grow up. He was not even a teenager right now after all. But it was not as if he could help it, he was just too worried about making mistakes which would affect the lives of both gods and mortals.
He was not thinking about any of this at the moment though. He had sneaked out of the Heavenly Court and he was quickly proceeding to the outskirts of the heavenly realm where the boulder he knew so well by now was located. He was not running, the rules of the Heavenly Court forbade that and even in his excitement, he was still following them to the letter. It was what he had been told since his reincarnation, he needed to be the perfect example so he would later be respected while carrying out his duties.
He finally reached his destination and sat down, gracefully and with his back straight as his uncle never ceased to remind him to do. He leaned onto the boulder and closed his eyes immediately.
He started mediating the way he had learned from the books, deep and calm, his breathing even as in his sleep. All in all, he must have really looked like he was sleeping, however, his mind was far from peacefully slumbering. Although he was keeping it relaxed and clear of unnecessary thoughts which would disturb the meditative state, he opened his mind even more.
He did not even have to search too hard and he could already feel the presence. It was just as all those previous times. He felt a sense of closeness with it and it was warm and welcoming. Whoever or whatever it was, it must not have been evil or even bad, it must have been good. He let the feeling of peace wash over him for a while, it was just as being caressed by his brother's hands or by gentle sunlight. It was all he had ever wanted.
He did not want to scare it away like last time so he approached carefully. He had read in the books that such barriers as he had encountered during his last attempt could be erected by a god or a mortal individual with strong will when they do not want anyone to invade their personal mind space.
Was that what had happened? Had he, albeit unknowingly, invaded someone's privacy? Or had it simply been a defensive reaction of some divine beast who had found their way into the heavenly realm? He had read it was rare but that it could happen. Or, there was a third option which he did not want to think too hard about: such a barrier could actually be erected to keep in place a god who had been sealed away. And for being sentenced to being sealed away, one had to be evil or had to do something truly awful or hurt many people.
No, surely that was not the case. Lan Zhan would be terrified of this option, he did certainly not want to release, even by mistake, a condemned criminal. However, he did not believe that he was dealing with this third possibility. First, the punishment of being sealed away was quite a severe one and he had not read about any god who had been punished in this way for the last thousand years. And second, even if he was in this kind of situation, the sealed individual simply could not be evil, not with how warm and welcoming the presence felt. There was no evil intent in its aura and Lan Zhan just knew it could not be true.
It did not even take a second and he could already feel it, stronger and closer than before. It was almost as if the presence was just beside him and he did not have to look for it this time. When he turned around – in his mind space of course, not physically – he could see it. The small sparkle of light was back and it was way closer to him just as he had expected. What he did not expect was that it would also be brighter than before, although not any bigger.
Lan Zhan tried to get closer, very carefully so he would not scare the presence away. He made sure to keep his mind clear and communicate his good intentions by emanating positive energy. The presence stayed where it was, not getting any closer but also not running away. If a sparkle of light could look happy, it would have surely done so. Lan Zhan could feel the change in the aura all around him, everything was suddenly warmer and brighter.
Oh so slowly, he reached out towards the presence until he was stopped by that invisible barrier again. He could feel it as a solid wall against his senses. When he sent his consciousness even further to explore it, to see if there was perhaps an end to it or a weaker place, it did not give way and he found out that it was actually circular or egg-shaped. It was spreading all around the presence and was efficiently keeping it protected – or trapped – in one place.
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Only you know my name
Fanfiction"Wei Ying. This name shall now be forgotten by everyone, both in the mortal realm and the heavenly realm. You shall remain imprisoned until someone calls you. Use this time wisely and reform yourself. Now, let the verdict be done." This fic will con...
