Only Realized After Losing You

1. Stupid Ellie

1. Stupid Ellie

I was made as a beautiful doll solely purposed to listen, unable to respond.
Of course, it isn't that I was born without contact with any form of language. In fact, I wasn't mute since birth.

I used to be a child who could spill out words related to my mom, dad, and love. I was 5 years old back then.
The reason behind how I came to lose my language was the start of a simple game.

"Ellie, let us play a game."

"Yes, father."

"Now, you are only going to listen to what I say. You must never talk back, it's alright if you don't pay attention to what I'll be talking about. Do you understand?"

"Yes, father."

"Good. Starting from now, you must shut your mouth."

The benevolent smile on my father's face suddenly changed.

With the expression of the devil from the picture book, he started yelling at me in my face.

"That baron bastard messed up with me again. I would have thrown away everything if it wasn't for the woman and kids in this household. Damn it."

My father was a man who made a living by doing insignificant work for someone.

To be more specific, he was a secretary of some baron.

Although a secretary might sound like a decent job, in reality, my father's work was pretty much a dirty job.

For example, he would take care of situations in which the members of the baron caused trouble through immoral acts.

Whatever was the case, the surrounding mood became dark as my father continued to spit out violent words.

It was to the point I wondered if he'd grow two horns on his head, just like a devil.

I was startled that I started shivering.

Even so, I continued to listen to my father's rant and anger.

This was all just a simple game of not responding.

Once the game ended, I was happy to hear my father's compliments.

"You are excellent at listening to others."

"Yes, father. Thank y......"

"You mustn't reply."

"But hasn't the game already ended?"

"You're good at listening, as I've said earlier. Have an attitude of not talking back after the game ends. It's as if you were born for this role."

"......"

And that's how this game never came to an end.

As time passed and seasons changed, when my age eventually became two-place numbers.

The silver hair which didn't touch my shoulders grew so long that it reached my hips.

When I came to notice the name of the baron at some point.

There was still no end to the game.

The number of people who joined this game only grew.

My older sister and mother would also spill out their individual complaints, sufferings, and even secrets.

I felt as if I became a priest from a cathedral who listens to confessions made by others.

Soon enough, I forgot how to talk.