Only Realized After Losing You

3. Can I kiss you?

3. Can I kiss you?

There was a time when I wished my boring life was different.

I thought I wanted to live my life as Ellie, not my family's feelings.

I didn't ask for anything special.

Once again I just wanted to live my life as a normal person.
But at the same time, I felt this way. Can I live as a normal person?

I have been impotent for over 10 years, I have been living under the influence of others. Will I be able to break free from my stagnant life?
Get out of the control of this hideous impotence
I wasn't sure somehow.

***

Hayden called me the next day, my father was very happy with that fact.

"Ellie. You're doing your job well. Unlike your damn sister, you're doing your job right."

The eyes of my father who looked at me are the same as before
Everyone was greedy
I got chills for an unknown reason.

I felt a lot more anxious than it was spreading around me when my dad looked like a demon.
I put on a dress to go out (it's a little more sexy than I usually wear) and left the house.

My father, who went to work as a writer early in the morning, was nowhere to be seen.
The one who saw me was my older sister, who wasn't depressed.

"Hey, Ellie. If a customer does something strange, you should run away immediately."

Ten years ago my older sister, who was violently assaulted by a man she met for the first time, has suffered from severe depression since that day.

She stammered and refused to leave the house. In addition, she was very shy with men.
(Poor girl I hated her at first but now I feel bad for her)

I nodded.

The first thing I do for my sister is to gain her trust during the day she tells me her inner feelings.
But it was my sister who took good care of me in my family. I even gave her a faint smile.

The driver blindfolded me again before I got into the carriage that stopped at the back of the house.

The car was installed with the help of the driver. And soon the carriage left.

I thought I had a partner
There was no conversation going on throughout the flight, but I felt like someone was sitting in front of me.

I wondered who the owner of the hand would guide me.

My eyes closed and I remembered Hayden's silver eyes, which were more beautiful than snowy mountains

Shortly thereafter, the carriage stopped.
It didn't take long to reach the destination.
I heard the car door open, and I felt like someone was holding my hand

Soft enough to be mistaken for a woman, I was sure that the one in the hand was Hayden.
He helped me get off the wagon and started driving me somewhere.

When I expected the owner of the hand to be a woman, I had no feelings.
But when I realized that he was a man, and that he was a man with a very noble face, I felt a little strange.

Of course, it wasn't that my heart was beating.
What is that
In this man's hand that he held for the first time properly, she felt an unfamiliar heartbeat.

That's what it was.
It was good to hear the sound of the grass, it was as if we were walking in a big garden
And soon we had finished the garden, and entered the hallway of a certain mansion.
We went up the stairs and down the long corridors as before.
Meanwhile, Hayden remained silent.
As soon as I entered a room, he removed the cloth that was covering my eyes