The Darkest Of Colours

VI

vi.

Blankets
I love blankets they're so soft and cuddly and I hate it here because we have paper crisp sheets in the hospital :(( But smile because you can snuggle in them anytime you want to !!

True, Louis smiles a bit at that. He always loved cuddles. One day he's going to buy a teddy bear and cuddle it all the time. Or find a boyfriend. Or not. He can't trust, he know at one point he has to but he can't help it.
He thinks it's better to be sad alone then to be with someone and bother them too, he can do alone, it's normal for him. It's confusing really, he doesn't want anyone to be all on him but he also just needs someone to be near, to be in reach, to hear him when he calls. Which isn't going to be soon so he wants whoever he'll find to stick along too, if they could. Sometimes he just wants to pick up a kitten from the stray roads of Holmes Chapel and take himself and his companion kitten somewhere, preferably far enough he wouldn't be found and brought back to this place. Perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition. Maybe that was why Louis couldn't cry, he would often find himself staring dry-eyed at the ceiling. Because what was the point in crying when there was no one and no place that would make you feel at home, at peace. What was worse, when he couldn't even comfort himself?