help me live.

23. why'd you let go of my hand?

Song-
A New Age - Keith Merrill

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Billie's POV
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May 15, 2019

I lift my hand, softly knocking on the wooden door. Only a few minutes later it opens up, revealing my beautiful girlfriend. "Hey!" She smiles, pulling me into a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to surprise you, plus I missed this house," I chuckled, pulling away from the hug. "Who's here though?" I asked, pointing to the car in the driveway.

"Jenica. We're finishing up the plans for the party," she explains, moving out of the doorway to let me in.

"I can go if you're too busy, I don't want to-"

"No, don't go," she interrupts me with enthusiasm.

"Okay," I laugh, "What's got you so happy?"

"I didn't expect to see you today," she shrugs, attempting to hide the smile on her face but failing miserably. "Want to see what we have so far?" Liv asks, reaching out to grab my hand and walk into the kitchen but I gently pull her back, twisting her to face me.

"Kiss first?" I whisper.

"Mhm," she nods with a little smile before placing her hands on my cheeks, mine around her waist.

It hasn't been long but damn I've missed her kisses. "Olivia, who was it?" Jenica shouts from the kitchen. We both reluctantly pull away. "It's Billie," Liv answers, clearing her throat before leading me into the house.

"Oh my god, hi Billie! It's been forever," Jenica exclaimed as we walked into the large kitchen.

"It has been. How are you?" I smiled, watching as Liv sits down at the kitchen island next to Jenica. The island is cluttered with both blue and pink flowers, napkins, plates and many other decoration items.

"I'm good, pregnant," Jenica pointed to her belly with a large smile plastered on her face.

"I heard! Congrats, you look great."

"Thank y-"

"So, are we done, Jenica?" Liv interrupts her.

"Uh, rude," Jenica holds a hand over her heart in mock offence.

"Yeah, we're done," Liv decides, grabbing a water off the table and leading me out of the room, up the stairs.

"Yo, you can finish whatever you need to do, I don't mind," I tell her as she practically drags me up the steps. She doesn't respond, instead pulling me into her room, closing the door behind herself and leaning against the back of it before letting out a deep sigh, her eyes closing.

"Woah, what's wrong, angel?" I reach out to hold both hands in hers.

"Nothing," she shakes her head, eyes still closed. "She's being really nice to me..." she finally opens her eyes to look into mine. "Should I be concerned?"

"No," I chuckle, "some people actually change, some people don't but maybe she's actually changing. Maybe the fact that she has a literal child inside of her is helping?"

"Maybe you're right," Liv sighs, throwing her arms around my shoulders, pulling me closer until her lips press against mine. We've kissed many times by now but I swear I could never get sick of this feeling. I never want her to pull away, all I want is to stay here, savouring the feeling of her body pressed against mine, her bottom lip between mine. Unfortunately, every kiss must come to an end.

"You okay for real?" I whisper softly, pressing my forehead against hers.

"Yeah," she pulls away completely, sitting down on her bed, her back against the wall.

The last time I was here, I wasn't really in a state to reminisce. Now I can't help but examine the photos on the wall, the sheets on her bed, the old wooden furniture. Most of it looks the same as it did years ago. "You didn't change much, did you?" I think out loud, joining her on the bed.

"I kinda didn't have the energy to," she admits. I look down at her as she reaches out to hold one of my hands, fidgeting with one of my rings.

"That's okay," I smile softly. There's a knock on the door and I frown when she lets go of my hand before shouting 'come in.'

"Just letting you know I'm leaving, it was nice to see you again Billie," Jenica waves as she pokes her head in the door.

"You too," I smile and wave back.

"Bye," Liv says before Jenica closes the door and her footsteps are heard down the hallway.

"So, what was that about?" I raise a brow.

"What?"

"Why'd you let go of my hand? I know we haven't talked about who we are telling and stuff. Do you not want anyone to know?"

"I mean... I wasn't sure what you were thinking especially since you're literally famous..." she trails off.

"This is all still pretty new so I obviously don't want it getting out to the public. How do you feel about family knowing?"

"Can we just like, wait for a bit?" She asked, shame lacing her voice.

"Of course baby, we can wait as long as you need," I placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'm gonna go grab water. You want anything?"

"No thanks," she shook her head. I gave her lips a quick kiss before walking downstairs into the kitchen.

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A/N: Okay, I hate this chapter so we're just gonna end it here. I'll do a double update today!