Collide / [Park Jay]

04

I didn't get to stay at one place during my childhood so most of the time, I was home-schooled. And like always, it was my parents' decision. Mahihirapan daw kasi akong mag-adjust kapag lumilipat ako palagi. Although, if I were to ask, I really wanted to go to school and experience the normal student life. Pero siyempre, hindi naman ako makakatanggi sa gusto nila para sa akin. I always end up following them.

That's why now, rather than being nervous, I feel more excited on my first day in school. Maaga pa lang ay nakahanda na ako. Kahit na madalas akong pagod nitong mga nakaraang araw dahil sa pag-aayos ng mga gamit ko sa apartment, hindi naman noon nabawasan ang excitement ko sa araw na ito.

I rode the bus on my way to school. Hindi naman iyon malayo sa apartment ko pero dahil sa traffic ay medyo natagalan ako. Simula bukas ay maglalaan na lang ako ng oras para dito para hindi ako mahuli sa klase kung sakali. As much as possible, I want to spend my school days like it's my last chance. Dahil hindi ko rin naman alam kung hanggang kailan ako hahayaan ng parents ko sa ganitong set-up.

Nang makarating ako sa school ay huminto muna ako saglit sa harap ng gate para pagmasdan ang kabuuan noon. I can't believe that I'm really in this situation now. I can't believe that this is finally happening again. Am I really going to attend school from now on? For real? If so, then, I'm so happy! I guess, this is what freedom feels like.

I knocked thrice on the faculty room's door before I made my way inside. I was instructed to stay here first before my homeroom teacher guides me on my assigned class.

"Hi. You must be Shin Yerim?" A teacher approached me.

"Good morning po. Yes po, I am." Sagot ko habang tumatayo ako sa kinauupuan ko.

"Have a seat, Yerim. By the way, I'm Mrs. Hwang. Ako 'yong kausap mo last time through phone call." Paliwanag niya. She also added that she will be my homeroom teacher for this school year.

I just nodded and smiled at what she said. May kinuha siyang folder sa shelf sa likuran niya at tiningnan niya iyon. She also scanned something on her laptop before facing me again.

"You were home-schooled for two years during middleschool? And.. few years during elementary din?" She then asked.

"A-Ah, yes po.." I answered politely. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kinakabahan ako all of a sudden.

"Did you encounter some problems with your previous school? As stated in your report kasi, minsan pumapasok ka rin naman sa regular school pero madalas home-schooled." She asked again. Mahinahon naman ang pagsasalita niya at mukhang follow-up interview lang ang nangyayari ngayon.

"Wala naman po, Ma'am. It was just my parents' decision." Sagot ko doon. Nakita ko ang dahan-dahan niyang pagtango.

Whenever I live with my dad, doon lang ako nakaka-experience na pumasok sa regular school. He's not very strict unlike my mom. I barely know anything about their relationship but I'm aware that they're not in good terms. My mom would always tell me about my dad's bad sides and my dad would just tell me to understand her since she's always been very prideful. Ganoon lang ang alam ko tungkol sa kanila at hindi ko na rin nagagawa pang magtanong dahil mukhang hindi naman sila komportable sa isa't isa.. although, I have all the rights to know since I'm their child..

"Come on, Yerim. Let me introduce you to your class." She stroked my hair a bit before leading the way to my classroom. Medyo lumalim pala ang naiisip ko at hindi ko namalayan na nakalapit na siya sa akin.

Tahimik ko siyang sinundan. Excited ako and at the same time, kabado. This is going to be the first time after a long while that I'll be socializing with people in school again. Parang nasanay ako na laptop lang yung kaharap ko, tons of books, at siyempre, si Miss Cha. Kaya ngayong actual na ulit, medyo nakakakaba.

I silently waited for Mrs. Hwang's brief introduction about me in the class. It made me a little anxious that everyone's attention is on me. But most of them are smiling so I eventually feel good.

"Hello. I'm Shin Yerim. I hope we can get along well-"

"Sorry, I'm late." In the middle of my sentence, someone entered the door. Dire-diretso ang lakad niya papunta sa desk niya kaya siguro hindi niya masyadong napansin ang nangyayari ngayon. He paused a bit to look at Mrs. Hwang and then later on me. I think he's trying to understand what's going on. At nang mapagtanto nga niya iyon, he immediately apologized.

"Mr. Park, again, wear your coat properly. And please, fix your tie." Mrs. Hwang reminded.

"Yes, Ma'am." Mahinahon niyang sagot.

I didn't get to finish what I wanted to say because of the sudden interruption. Tinuro na lang ni Mrs. Hwang kung saan ang magiging desk ko at agad akong naglakad patungo doon. Dahil bago lang ako at may assigned seats na silang lahat, sa likuran na ako napunta. But it's fine since hindi naman ako nag-iisa.

Some of my classmates immediately went to me to ask some questions, you know, just to start a conversation and to make me feel comfortable as well. It's such a nice feeling to realize that I'm pertaining to them as "classmates" right now. It seems like I never mentioned that word in so long.

Basically, I spent the whole day introducing myself to each of my class. My teachers are all kind and understanding, as well as my classmates. Hindi pa naman sobrang dami ng na-tackle nila for the last two weeks pero ilan sa mga kaklase ko ay nag-offer na ng notes sa akin so I can still cope up with the previous lessons.

"Thank you, Hana. Ibabalik ko rin 'to agad bukas. Don't worry, I'll take good care of this." I said while raising her notebook a bit. Hana is the first person who approached me earlier. She's very kind and sweet.

"Sure! No worries. Maganda naman ang handwriting ko kaya for sure, maiintindihan mo 'yan!" Biro niya at sabay kaming natawa.

"Do you want to hang out today? You know, just to officially welcome you as our new friend!" Sunhee, my seatmate, suggested.

I went blank for a couple of seconds, trying to let everything sink in. It's just too overwhelming for me. Masaya ako, siyempre. But because I didn't have the chance to make friends before, it feels a bit weird but in a good way.

"Oh.. I'd love to. But I'm still trying to figure out my way home and such.." Marahan kong sagot. I haven't told them much about myself, pero nabanggit ko na kanina na kakalipat ko lang recently sa lugar na 'to at hindi pa ako gano'n ka-familiar.

They let me go after a few chitchats. Naintindihan naman nila ang dahilan ko. I just promised them that we'll hang out next time and they both agreed. Hana and Sunhee both have something in common. Pareho silang mabait at palabiro. They didn't hesitate to approach me and give me company for the whole day. I guess, I finally have something to look forward to everyday.

Naupo ako sa waiting shed sa labas ng school. Sa kabilang station pa 'yong bus terminal pero sabi naman noong school guard namin, kahit hindi ako magpunta doon ay may dumadaan naman dito.

As I was waiting patiently, a car stopped in front of me. Nakabukas ang bintana noon kaya agad kong nakita ang nasa loob. It's my classmate.. I don't know his name yet. Siya 'yong na-late kaninang umaga habang nagpapakilala ako. Napansin kong naka-red pala ang traffic light kaya nakahinto ang sinasakyan niya ngayon.

Our eyes then met and I was stunned for a while. We haven't interacted yet so I don't know what to react. I was contemplating whether to say hi or just smile, but before I could do anything, he just looked away and rolled the car window up, making me unable to see him clearly.

Oh... okay?