𝕮𝖍𝖊𝖒𝖎𝖓 𝖉'𝖆𝖌𝖔𝖓𝖎𝖊 || 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯

》Le bord

Last night I was staring outside the window,
and I saw kids throwing each other's snow.
Jealousy, jealousy. 
How can they be this happy?

Two eyes, blinked three times.
oh- Its Christmas?!
How can be?

Yesterday, I was just sitting in the corner.
Hugging the hot pack, my soul's warmer.
I can already feel the frosty air stinging my skin,
should I suffer or resist?

Soul's empty, but why does it feels so heavy?
every second, every breath, it's raining inky confetti.
a leap of emotion, suddenly made me unsteady.
the approaching impact crawling in the back of my sushi,
I'm not yet ready.

I'm supposed to be happy, but it feels gloomy.
everyone's enjoying, while I feel bored and valueless.
I know I wasn't alright, but I kept my smile in front of everyone's sight.
Its that right?

They gave me tons of gifts, but it was just a temporary bliss.
my face was full of joy while thanking them for the toys.
is it enough to fill my empty soul?
and to give the raging ball a sprinkle of control?

But I must thank them, for the ecstasy that they gave to me.
I really appreciate it, like really.
Thanks for giving me hope to live.
And cheering me up a bit.

I guess, its a lil worthy to push myself to go with the flow.
and to feel deserving on the overflowing glow.
after all, I'm still a full time sushi roll.
giving people a bunch of console.

-------


Note:
hi, this is my late Christmas gift!
I know that, my poems might be (very) confusing,
but I wrote this on purpose.

my poems has a very simple meaning but I put a lot of deep words 
or maybe a confusing sentences?
I'm not sure of my reader's POV- yea.
That's because, I don't want to reveal everything yet. (lol chop chop)

due to my incomprehensible feelings, I manage to create this poems.
its just the 10% of it. there's a lot more. 
SO- that means, I'll continue writing poems in this book. 
I also hope that, you'll try to understand my (so called) masterpiece.

All I want for the people around me, is to understand me.
In a way they can't immediately get.
Its how deep I am. And I should be taken seriously.

yep! so anyways, I hope you enjoy my short poems :>
Belated Happy New Year! Let us heal and learn from our own mistakes.