You're my treasure [ Seongjoong]

Ch 23

It has been three days and Seonghwa is still in the hospital. He looks a bit healthy now but not as good as before. He hasn't remembered a single thing. No matter how many times I talk to him he replies to me very plainly. No matter what I do I'm still a stranger to him. The guilty is eating me up alive.
I want to apologize to him but from where to start. He doesn't even remember the cause and I felt too ashamed to remind him all that again.

What will I say? Should I be like,
'Hey Seonghwa it was because of me you got into an accident. If it weren't for my anger and the way I hurt you, the way I pushed you away, you wouldn't be here right now. And I also kicked you out of my house and made you cry. And I did it all because of what? I too don't know that. I don't know why I insulted you like that. I still can't figure it out.'
Yeah it's true I still haven't seemed to understand why I did that. I want to ask someone but I'm afraid to even say it out loud.
I'm afraid to say what I'm feeling. And lately everyone is talking to me but they haven't seemed to forgive me. And it's valid this time, it's all I've bought upon myself. If only I wasn't a coward like this and tried to understand my feelings maybe the situation would have been much better.

But right now I've another problem in front of me. Wooyoung and Mingi have come to visit Seonghwa and Minho's shift has ended. So now Wooyoung and Minho are fighting over who will get the first pancake Seonghwa makes after recovery. I don't know why Minho likes to provoke them both, but it always ends up with Wooyoung, Mingi and him in an argument.

"No, I'll have it. I'm Hyung's favourite," Wooyoung shouted.

"Haahaaa, he has forgotten about you so now you ain't his favourite. I'm the only one he knows, so I'll get it," Minho shouted back, making the other sulk.

"Hyung, you are grown up please don't fight like this," Mingi told them. "because I'll have it before you two," he added.

" No way, you won't. I'm Hyung's favourite. I'll have it no matter what," Wooyoung shouted again.

" You both aren't in the list. I was the one who got tortured by this burnt toast and uncooked spaghetti before. So now I'll have it first," Minho argued.

"Three of you shut up or I swear I'll throw you out of here," Hongjoong threat which goes unnoticed by others or they simply ignore him and the argument continue.

" SHUT UP YOU ALL," Seonghwa shouted, making them silent for a second. " I won't make anything for you three. You are banned from eating my dishes. I swear to god you three act like hyena. What are you? Five? You fight over food. Huh?," Seonghwa scolded them.

"Sorry," Mingi and Wooyoung said in unison.

"Darling I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you," Minho says, moving towards Seonghwa and gently kissing his forehead. " I'll take my leave, you enjoy your time and you can call me if anything happens. I'll run some tests tomorrow and if they are fine you can go home," Minho says, cupping Seonghwa's face then again kissing his forehead before walking away.

Hongjoong sat there with a heavy feeling in his heart. His heart tells him to run away and cry in some corner. He doesn't like the way Minho looks at Seonghwa or the way Minho kisses him. He doesn't like the way Seonghwa chuckles and smiles whenever Minho is around.
He didn't like it at all but why is he feeling like this? He tried to stop all these feelings but they didn't fade away, they didn't stop. He can't stop them.
So if he accepts them, will it be fine or is it too late to accept them? Will the others forgive him? Will Seonghwa forgive him if he tells him his true feelings? Are these feelings even normal to feel? These thoughts occupied Hongjoong's mind, making him question himself more and more.

The rest of the day went by Yunho and Yeosang visiting Seonghwa and telling him about their day and making him smile somehow.
At night Leez and Eden volunteer to stay with Seonghwa not before arguing with Hongjoong who doesn't want to leave Seonghwa. Eden and Leez were suspicious about his concern, the way he was so desperate to stay and the way he looked in Seonghwa's eyes or the way hurt flash on his face when he lost and couldn't stay. It all shows something more than guilt; longing.