29. Brooding.

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The first place to tend to was the fireplace.

The flue needed a slight clean, which became Hera's job as her companions collected wood and kindling. The debris was easy enough to disintegrate to dust, which she gently collected and sprinkled outside. Hera took great delight in shooing the men away as she focused on making a fire. It only took a few minutes of concentration before she sat back in awe of the warmth she made from her hands.

"Could've used these, ya know." Joel sat beside her and shook a matchbox. A genuine laugh poured from her lips as she playfully shoved him, much to his dismay.

Theo stood off the side, soaking in some heat while pulling out any food he could find from the bags. He placed each item on the floor in even piles of three before looking through each cupboard.

It surprised Hera to see how much had been left behind in an unused old safe house.

Two cans of vegetable medleys, three baked beans, one split pea soup, and four canned rice completed the bounty. They used an old pot Joel found to heat some items in a one-pot mix and sighed happily when the hot food lined their stomachs.

Hera looked around the single level and noticed one room still sealed off. After their meal, she went to investigate and assumed she would find a bedroom and maybe a bathroom, but those dreams were promptly crushed. A stingy mattress lay against the back wall, and the floor was sparse. Thankfully, the closet revealed a few sheets, all at least moderately feasted on by moths. 

There was no toilet inside, and she realised bitterly there was probably an outhouse somewhere. There was also a dirty shower head over a small tub in the far corner and some half-used soap bars lining the tub's edge. Maybe she could finally have a shower after weeks of half-assed sponge baths on the ship. She fantasised about a warm shower as she dragged the mattress in front of the fireplace, throwing the pile of sheets on top so she could look for the toilet. 

The boys can make the bed, she thought. "I'm not a fucking maid..."

After relieving herself in the old outhouse, she had returned to find the 'bed' made, and she smiled. They must have returned while she was out. Her smile quickly fell when she heard their raised voices outside, bickering yet again. "If I go now, it should only take me two or three days to get help!"

"And what if you get lost or caught? Then we will all be fucked."

Hera scuffed her shoes as she walked up to the pair, and the conversation died on their lips. Both men shared a look of disdain and determination that made her want to slap them both. 

"Tell me, Joel." She didn't bother asking Theo about it because she knew he wouldn't bother speaking to her. She felt so conflicted. She wanted him, and she thought he wanted her, but now all she felt was anger and blame.

"I was just saying I know where the first safe house settlement is. If I leave now, I can make it there in a few days and tell everyone where you are, and they will come to get you. There are a few stores along the way and empty buildings I can 'use' if need be. I can do this. I want to help." 

He dragged out the word 'use', and Hera knew he would 'use' unsavoury means to survive if he had to. 

She started nodding when Theo interrupted tersely. "And I was saying if anything happened to him on the way, we wouldn't know, and we could get snowed in." His flushed cheekbones and wind-bitten lips were distracting Hera from the conversation. 

She thought he was so beautiful. She almost reached out to touch him when his dark eyes shot to hers, bringing her back to reality. She cleared her throat, "I think it's a good idea, and if we don't hear from anyone in four days, we leave. Leave the location on the map for us, and we will find you."

Joel shook his head, "If anyone found the map, it would be all over for everyone. You just have to trust me. I can do this, Hera." He was pleading with her, and she felt her heartache at his tone.

Although it forced her to have another level of trust in Joel, she nodded again. "I believe you can do this, Joel." She really meant it. "What will you need?" Theo's groan of exasperation was loud behind Hera's back. She felt his eyes like knives in both her and Joel.

"I'll just take enough food to get me to the small shopping centre a few miles from here. I can get clothes and food there. Don't worry. I've got this." He grinned at Hera before running inside to pack his bag. She went to follow him when Theo gripped her arm. He wouldn't even look at her face. "You put so much trust in him." His words struck Hera painfully. 

"This is a mistake." He stared at her then, glowering.

She had never seen him so bitter, but she could be stubborn too. 

"You didn't offer a better idea, so get over it. And don't act like you care about who I put my trust in. I care about Joel, and I know he won't hurt me." She almost felt guilty for the expression that passed Theo's face but instead ripped her arm from his grip and carried on inside to help Joel to pack.

After twenty minutes of finalising his gear and saying goodbye, Joel marched off into the forest as Hera watched, smiling slightly. She was sad to see him leave and almost wanted to run after him so she wouldn't be left behind with brooding Theo. 

She stood watching the forest until she no longer heard his footfall and for some time after that until her joints ached from the cold. The snow was persistent here, and her attention was suddenly brought to her squelching shoes. She stripped them off as she returned to the cabin and placed them by the fire to dry.

...

It had been a few hours of painful silence where Hera read a weather-worn vampire novel, and Theo tended to the fire and cut more wood. She rolled her eyes constantly at his stupid displays of masculinity. Hera could split those logs with her fucking mind, but he had to use his rippling muscles and stupid axe from under the house. She reread the same page over and over, but nothing stuck.

 Look at him, she thought, so sweaty and beautiful and annoying and mean and hot and fuck!

This is not helping anyone. Juno piped up.

"Go away." She whispered, sticking her nose back into the novel.

Talk to him.

"Blah." She was in no mood to talk to anyone and willed Juno to get lost. She felt as though someone smacked her across the back of the head and grumbled, "Rude bitch." Juno chuckled and disappeared as Theo entered the house with a pile of logs filling his arms. He slowly built up the fire, and Hera's frustration built to breaking point. She slammed the book down on the table as she stood and demanded, "What is your problem?" 

He didn't even turn from the fire at her outburst; he just shook his head as if to say 'nothing.'

"Don't give me that shit. We had something between us, and now it feels like it's gone. I know it wasn't all a lie..."

"Maybe it was..." He responded lowly. His body was hunched over, and her anger grew. Sparks licked at her fingers before she clenched them tight.

"I should have just gone with Joel, " She screamed, snatching up her damp shoes. She shook, knowing what she was about to say would hurt them both. "He would've taken care of me properly and not blamed me for his mother's death!"

He spun to face her, eyes reflecting the fire's blaze. He looked primal and wild. "But he did, didn't he? He did blame you for his father's death. And maybe it was your fault Hera. Have you ever thought of that?"

He turned away but couldn't stop the thought that shot into Hera's mind. None of this would have happened if I'd never met you. 

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