Choosing Love

Chapter 1: Transformation

Emily Prentiss could feel the freezing cold air nipping at her fingertips. She could see her breath as she walked on the sidewalk. The cold did not deter her from her destination. It only served as a reminder that she had to remain that way towards other people for this to work. she kept her gaze straight forward, afraid to move her head at all, because she knew if she did that she might look back. She knew that if she looked back her iron will might start to rust and her resolve might crumble. Her hand gripped the gold necklace as tightly as possible. It was a talisman that would keep her safe as she gave in to the deepest and darkest desire of her soul.

She wanted him. All of him. Now and forever. And she had to tell him that before it was too late.

Somewhere along the line, her emotions had crossed the line between fake and real. At first she was only showing him affection because it was her job, but the sincerity of his own emotions had gotten to her, and the emotions stopped being fake. She had buried herself in her work after that, trying to fill the void that he left in her soul, but the gnawing emptiness only grew larger with the passage of time. When she heard that Ian had escaped, her heart had nearly stopped inside of her chest. He was coming for her. She had betrayed him, but her heart wasn't in it, and she hoped that he could see that much. Now, as she walked toward The Black Shamrock, she hoped that he could forgive her for what she had done.

She sat in that very same booth where their lives had first crossed, and ordered the same drink she had on that fateful night. She could picture Ian's piercing blue eyes staring at her, filled with love. It was her deepest hope that he could look past her indiscretions and love her all over again. She would open herself up to the worst possible heartbreak imaginable, but what was love without risk?

Her breath froze in her throat as she saw him come through the door. He smiled at her, ordered his drink, then came to her table. He sat down, and took a sip of whiskey.

"salut mon chéri. Il a été un temps assez long puisque nous étions dernière ici." (hello darling. It has been a long time since we were last here.)

"Oui, il l'a fait." (yes it has.)

"What do you want from me, Emily?" He asked. To her, he seemed exhausted just saying her name. It broke her heart a little. She wasn't sure how to begin.

"When I took that job, I wasn't expecting anything to really happen between us. I told myself that it was just work and that I could separate my feelings from my job. But somewhere along the way everything changed and I realized that I loved you. I spent years wishing that I had gotten to say that as myself, and then one day I realized that I did. Lauren Reynolds is me. The real me. Emily Prentiss may be my name, but Lauren Reynolds is my true identity. And I just want to be Lauren again." A tear streaked down her face and he moved to wipe it.

"You would give it all up for me?"

"I want you back. I'll do whatever it takes to have you."

He spied the necklace around her neck and touched it lightly.

"Will you marry me?" He asked, quietly.

"What did you say?" She asked in shock.

"Will you marry me?"

In a flash she recalled everything that had ever happened between them. The kisses, the rings, the sex, the betrayal. But most importantly there was the emptiness while he was away. She knew she couldn't live that way again. So she would leave Emily Prentiss behind and become Lauren Reynolds for the rest of her life.

"Yes. Yes, I'll marry you." She said, voice choked with tears. They both stood up and shared a passionate kiss. He pulled her in close to him and whispered in her ear:

"Come on. Let's get married." He took her by the hand and they drove together to the courthouse. Emily had brought all of her credentials as Lauren Reynolds in her jacket. The woman named Emily Prentiss was gone as of this moment. Now she was just Lauren- almost Lauren Doyle. When they got there they said their vows and Lauren removed the rings from her necklace. One went on her finger, the other on Ian's. After reciting their vows the judge pronounced them Husband and Wife, and Ian happily kissed his bride.

"I love you, Lauren."

"I love you too, Ian."

That night, Lauren sent one last text to her old coworkers from the BAU. When she sent it, she threw it in the trash as she and her husband boarded a plane headed for Rio De Janeiro. It was one identical message sent to all of them- short, but simple.

I chose love.

With that text, all her old ties had been severed. Now she could focus on her relationship with her husband and his son. She loved her friends back home dearly and wanted them in her life, but she knew that couldn't happen because of who her husband was. As sad as it was to say goodbye to them, she knew it would be for the best. As long as she covered her tracks, she and Ian would be fine. He kissed her hand as they sat in their seats on the plane.

"What are you thinking about, love?" She smiled.

"How lucky I am to have you."

"I love you, Mrs. Doyle."

"I love you too, Mr. Doyle."

They shared a kiss before their plane took off. Lauren moved to lean on her husband's arm. As she drifted off into peaceful sleep, she couldn't help but smile at the idea that together they had finally found paradise