Only Yours in my Dreams // Alma Peregrine x Reader

Chapter Thirteen- No More Hiding

She had been taking care of you for a day and a half, and you were still stuck. Today you were to try again, as your wing was back in place and felt much better. You were only a bit bruised at this point. It pained you, though, to watch her hurrying about to care for you when it was clear she needed it herself. Her body was bruised, you had seen it, from him hitting her. She was also hurting mentally, you could just tell- you saw her when she thought you were asleep or that no one was looking. She would let her guard down, break down in tears and beat herself up mentally. You heard her whispering about how it was her fault, all her fault, she let him into the loop and into her heart. But it wasn't her fault. Everyone knew it, but she wouldn't let anyone talk to her about it. She just claimed that she 'didn't discuss unpleasant matters' and made up some excuse to hurry off. Now, the others didn't have details of what happened. Only you and Miss Peregrine truly knew what had actually gone down. As far as you knew, the woman had only told them that Asher had injured you and was now no longer around.

In the time that you had been stuck, you were trapped with your thoughts for quite a long time, and you had made your decision. It would be hard, but it would have to happen.

Presently you rested in your makeshift nest in your room as Olive and Emma hovered around you. You'd already eaten supper, that's why they were there. The others were downstairs watching the movies. Now they were talking quietly, glancing at you in concern every so often. You stood up, fluffing your feathers silently as you prepared yourself. While the two weren't looking, you hopped down onto the floor and focused, shifting back successfully, though not fully without pain.

"Hey, girls." The two whipped around at the sound of your voice, taking in your disheveled form. One shoulder was hanging lower than the other as you stood with most of your weight on one leg, you had a dark bruise over your neck where he had choked you. Olive rushed forward and captured you in a tight hug. "Ow, hey hey gentle." You groaned and Olive broke away from you with a quick apology.

"Are you alright? We didn't know- She won't tell us what happened." Emma rushed out, coming over to examine you closer.

"I'm fine. It's all good." You cracked a smile through the pain you were in, determined to remain yourself. You wanted to give them that while you still could.

"We need to tell Miss Peregrine you're not stuck anymore." Olive nodded in agreement with Emma, and before you could protest, the two were out the door and you were left alone.

You were afraid to talk to her about what had happened- you knew she would ask you about what he called you. A few minutes later and you had sat down in your armchair, anxiously waiting for her to arrive. You heard a knock on your door and rose to answer it, wincing at the lingering pain in your foot. You opened the door with a small smile, but were caught off guard by your ymbryne instantly throwing her arms around you and pulling you into a tight hug. You winced but hugged her back just as tightly, relishing the time you had together. It lasted a solid minute, before she finally pulled away to examine you.

"You're a wreck, darling." She said quietly, and you could tell she was already beating herself up about it.

"I'm fine, Alma." You gave her a thumbs up and smile, though it didn't help her. You were shocked when she didn't even give you a look, she just completely dismissed your use of her first name.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I feel great. It's good to be human again."

She raised a hand to cup your face and ghosted her thumb over your cheekbone, nearly causing you to shiver at the contact. "We need to talk." There it was. You knew it was coming, though your stomach dropped anyways.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that was coming." You sighed and walked over to your bed, sitting down and patting the spot next to you.

"What he called you- was that true? I know he called me a lesbian, which certainly wasn't true, but... I need to know if it was true for you." She put a hand on your knee and you laid yours on top of it. "It's okay if it is, no one in this loop would care, least of all me."

"Yeah. I'm gay." You hung your head and sighed deeply. "Happy? I finally admitted it." You pulled your hand away from hers, crossing your arms over your stomach protectively.

"That's fine, y/n. Hey, look at me. None of us mind a bit." She took your face gently in her hands and turned it so you were facing her.

"You're not gonna disown me?"

That's when it hit her. The reason you would never talk about your parents. The reason you so severely hated them.

"Absolutely not, I would never do such a thing. You belong here, and you're always going to be safe here." She pulled you into a soft hug and you relaxed against her. You tried to lose yourself in the way she held you, the feeling of her body against yours, but you just couldn't. There was too much on your mind. If only she knew- but you couldn't tell her. You wouldn't tell her, or anyone.

No one could know.

"Thanks, Miss Peregrine." You smiled weakly at her. "Honestly it kinda feels good to finally tell you."

"How long have you been hiding it?"

You hesitated, then gave her a shy smile. "Ever since I got here. Only Olive, Emma, Enoch, Fiona, and now you know. Fiona only knows cause..." You trailed off and your eyes widened as you snapped your mouth shut, shaking your head when she gave you a prompting nod.

"You don't need to hide any more, y/n."

"No more hiding. Feels nice." You laughed quietly, both relieved and awkward.

"Is there anything else you'd like to get off your chest, darling?" She prompted, nudging your knee slightly with her own.

"No, that's all, Miss." You hesitated, before making your decision. This would be the last time. You looked her up and down, seemingly trying to memorize every detail of the woman that you were so hopelessly in love with. The way her blue-black hair always shone in the sunlight, the hue shifting wildly with the slightest tilt of her head. Her sharp cheekbones with the light dusting of pink that always resided there. Her dark nails, the very ones that provided such a pleasant light stinging when she ran her fingers through your hair or lightly gripped your arm. Every last detail of her was ethereal, and you did everything in your power to commit her to memory as though she were a photograph. "Now, I'm rather tired- I'd like to get some sleep, if you wouldn't mind."

She nodded and stood, placing a light kiss on your forehead.

"Goodnight, y/n. I'll see you when you awake." She smiled warmly at you and left the room, utterly clueless to your plan. You smiled sadly after her, shutting your eyes and letting a few silent tears slip down your cheeks.

No, Miss Peregrine. You won't.

A/n- stOP RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS DAMMIT