Stop Staring

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Oh wow. Heyo! I'm so sorry this chapter took so long. I was busy with work and exams but im finally getting this one out! I have a few things im thinking about doing after this but we'll see lol Anyways, this can also be gender neutral for the first person's pov. Enjoy!

(*Italics* are thoughts)

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"H-hey I uh, I have to tell you something"

I turn around to see the face of the voice that was talking to me and I see my crush with her eyes looking down and shuffling her feet

"Oh hey! Yeah sure, what's up?" I say to her

"Okay. Uh yeah so I um, I really like you" she starts "like more than a friend and I just wanted to tell you because it's been weighing down on me and I get super nervous whenever I'm around you and you're really good looking and it's getting harder to hide my feelings so yeah. It's okay if you don't like me back, and if it makes you feel uncomfortable, I can distance myself from you and..."

As she continues talking, I just sit there in shock.

*My crush likes me back?! Oh my god I can't believe it.*

I quickly cut off her rambling by grabbing her shoulders and tilting her head up from looking down at her feet with one of my hands. I can see the blush on her face as she realizes I'm holding her really closely and she immediately stops talking for a second before stuttering out

"W-what are you- what are you doing?!?!" She squeaks out quickly

I chuckle a little before replying to her.

"You didn't give me time to answer you, silly. You don't know what I'm gonna say but if you give me a second I can tell you that I like you too. I've liked you for a while now and I've been waiting for the right time to tell you but it seems like you beat me to it."

Now it's her turn to completely freeze with her mouth open in shock like I had done minutes before.

"Wait. You- you like me too? Like, LIKE like me? For real? You aren't joking?" She asks me questioningly to which I laugh loudly at before nodding my head yes.

"Now that you know I like you too, do you want to be my girlfriend?" I ask

She beams at me and says yes before she starts leaning in to kiss me.

*Oh my gosh, she's leaning in! Is she going to kiss me? Is it going to be a hug? Do I smell okay? She's looking at my lips which means this is going to be my first kiss!*

As we get closer, I can feel my heart beating harder and faster in my chest and hear the thumping in my ears.

She starts to close her eyes and I put my hand on her waist



















































*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

























I jolt up breathing heavily before trying to understand my whereabouts and study my surroundings.

I'm in my room.

In my bed.

It was a dream.

Fuck.

I groan loudly and fall back onto my bed, closing my eyes and letting out a deep sigh before getting up and putting on my clothes for school.

After I eat my breakfast and leave my house, I start my walk to the bus stop before picking up my friend on the way.

We exchanged greetings and get to the stop as we wait for the bus to come and get us to bring us to school.

I put my earbuds in and play some music during the ride there and I start thinking about my dream and how crazy it was.

I let those thoughts and my music consume me as I fall asleep feeling the little bumps in the road we go over.

When we get to school we hang out in the main lobby until first period and we all walk to our classes together and wait for the teacher to arrive.

First period came and went by really quickly and we start to go to lunch in the cafeteria.

On our way there I see her walking with her friends looking so happy and bright, laughing out loud at something funny one of them said.

I didn't realize I was looking so intensely that I almost crashed into a table but I just managed to sit in the seat before I fell.

*Jesus that was embarrassing. I really hope she didn't see that*

I shake my head with wide eyes before getting out my lunch and eating it while looking around the cafeteria and chatting with my friends.

I occasionally looked at her because she's so beautiful and her smile lights up the room and catches my attention every time.
I zone out while thinking about her and one of my friends nudges me a bit and I snap back into reality

"You really have it bad huh." They said

I sigh deeply while still looking at her and reply

"you have no idea how hard it is to want to be the person that makes her smile, to comfort her when she's having a hard time, to hold her hand when she's scared, to be a shoulder to cry on, to give her flowers or gifts not because you had to but because you wanted to, to be the ear that always listens when she rambles about her day or other things, to be able to kiss her and have her kiss back, to be affectionate in public and show everyone that she's taken and claimed by you, to want to give her everything just to see her happy, to have her look at you like you have all the answers she needs, and wanting her to stare at you like you gave her the world all while knowing she gets all of those things from someone else.

Someone that will never be you but you've fallen for her so deep you can't even see the top of the hole you've dug yourself in.

And to see her happy with someone else while knowing they can give her everything she's ever wanted and more with the snap of their fingers while you just sit by and watch because you know you can't.

It's so hard to have your heart break more little by little each day, but still have to smile to show nothing is wrong."

I look at them with teary eyes and continue

"it hurts so bad but I don't know what to do to stop loving her"

a tear rolls down my cheek and my friend wipes it for me as they try and think of something to say.

Before either of us could say more, the cafeteria doors opened and her partner walked in. She got up and ran to give them a hug and jumped in their arms while laughing and then they made their way back to their table.

I watched them do the whole thing with sad eyes.

*come on, cut it out. You know she doesn't like you nor will she ever so stop staring.*

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Well, that was my first actual angst lol ironically, I don't like reading angst but I prefer writing it 😂 I might update again soon because I already have a bit of an idea for my next one and I might be thinking about taking requests if anyone had any later on but not right now. We'll see what happens and how things go lol Anyways, drink a bottle of water today or an extra one if you already did. It's good for you and your mental health. (tip from a good friend) Until the next one!
                        -SB

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