Koe

Chapter 7 - Making sense

I awoke, eyes puffy from crying the night before. I brushed a stray strand of hair over my ear, and checked my phone for any messages. I saw that half of them were from Ryota, but I saw that Haruna, Rina and Tomomi all had sent me messages too. Tomomi's messages were comforting, but Rina and Haruna were asking about what had happened. I sent them a quick reply: I'd tell them later during band practice.

I left my house to see Tomomi waiting at the street outside.It was still drizzling but I ran to her and she hugged me, asking if I was alright.

"I just don't want to hear his voice anymore."

"Alright. As long as you're okay now." She patted me on my head.

We walked the rest of the way to school in silence, the drizzle adding to the white noise of my brain buzzing away. I knew I was in a mess but I couldn't quite organize my thoughts now. I felt like crying again, but I held it in, I didn't want Tomomi to worry about me.

I was miserable. Luckily, the monotony of school distracted me from my hive of feelings, and I was okay for a while.

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The short walk to practice felt like forever. I hoped that he wouldn't be there, I hoped that even if he was, I wouldn't break down and cry. I just couldn't feel bitter about him, I only felt as if my heart had been punctured with cold iron.

When I finally reached the studio, I kept my head down. I couldn't trust myself to look anyone in the eye. And yet, the moment I opened the door, Haruna said bluntly, "The harder you pull the knot, the tighter it gets. Don't think to much about it. That girl was his sister."

I looked at Haruna, stunned.

"I know because he texted me to explain it to you. You weren't reading his messages."

It somehow made sense to me. My mind flashed back to the moment I slapped him and guilt filled me. It must have shown on my face because Haruna said, "You should go apologize to him."

"Is he here today?"

"He isn't. He felt that you might still be mad at him. Call him up later."

"I will, Haru, thank you." As I said that, I felt my heartstrings being tugged on again, my eyes became watery. Tomomi noticed this and offered me a tissue, pulling me close for a hug.

"It'll be okay," Tomomi said. "Don't worry too much about it." The rest of the band moved to hug me too. Even Haruna, who usually didn't enjoy physical contact, joined in the group hug, because she knew it would make me feel better.  And I did, I felt the warmth and concern from my bandmates.

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As I left the studio after practice, Tomomi suddenly stopped me.

"Do you want to go visit Ryota instead of just calling him? An apology in person is more heartfelt than an apology over the phone."

I hesitated my reply and Tomomi, sensing my mood, smiled and said, "I'll go with you if you're afraid."

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I knocked on his door, I shivered, afraid of how angry Ryota might be at me. I had assumed too much when I knew too little. Tomomi held my hand, reassuring me that it would be fine. But no one came to the door. I knocked again, this time a little harder. I waited for a while, and still no one came. The feeling of guilt overwhelmed me again and I turned to Tomomi, asking her if we should leave.

"I don't think anyone's home."

Just as I said it, the door clicked. Ryota stood in the doorway, his face filled with sadness and lethargy. I lunged towards him and hugged him.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I am. I didn't explain it to you and you misunderstood. I'm sorry I made you cry," He said as he gently touched my cheeks and looked into my eyes.

"You didn't get much sleep over it either, did you? Look at your panda eyes."

"I didn't sleep too much. I was so worried about you."

As he said this I felt my heart melt and I hugged him even tighter. The smell of the soap he used lingered faintly and it felt like home. I smiled to myself in relief. We stood there in the doorway, my arms wrapped around him, and I totally forgot about everything else around me.

"Please don't forget that I'm here," Tomomi broke me out of my daze.

"Sorry!" I pulled Tomomi in too and hugged her. She laughed and hugged me back.

"Is that Mami-chan?" A small voice interrupted.

We turned, and saw the same young girl that I had mistaken the other day. Ryota introduced her and she invited us in, offering to cook dinner.

"Oh no, I must decline. I need to go home for dinner with my parents," Tomomi replied. "Mami could probably join you guys though!"

Ryota looked at me sheepishly, unsure of what to do.

"If it's not too much trouble, I don't mind having dinner with you." I softly squeezed his hand.