Alright, since I can't get a specific TikTok out of my head, here's how I feel it would go:
Tartaglia: its against the tsaritsas orders to betray a fellow harbinger
Tsaritsa: Yes, I did say that.
Scaramouche is typing...
Pucinella: So, what do you have to say for yourself, Scara?
Pierro: do tell
Scaramouche: nothing rly
Scaramouche: but before i go, childe pls do remember
Scaramouche:
Scaramouche: so is getting on ur knees for another archon
Tsaritsa: WHAT?!
Pucinella: CAUGHT IN 4-FUCKING-K
Signora: I'm a ghost and even I'm shocked
Dottore: OH MY ARCHONS WHAT THE ACTUAL FU-
Colombina: 'scuse me bitch i thought we were friends
Pantalone: childe's a bottom?
Capitano: u didn't know??
Pantalone: nope
Pantalone: sandrone take a look at this
Sandrone: I'm seeing it and I'm in shock
Tartaglia: SCARA WTF
Tartaglia: I THOUGHT U PROMISED
Scaramouche: lmao nah
Tartaglia: thought u were bae
Tartaglia: turns out ur just fam
Tsaritsa: Anything else you wish to tell me, my dear 11th?
Scaramouche: he had kids with morax (two boys two girls) and adopted some adepti
Colombina: dude
Dottore: wtf did you do in liyue
Tartaglia: fine then scara
Tartaglia: at least i didnt have a son with one of inazuma's most wanted (think his name was kazuha)
Tsaritsa: I-
Tsaritsa: I'm done.
Tsaritsa: Since when did you manage to have children?
Tartaglia: idk just happened
Tartaglia: also dottore
Dottore: yes?
Tartaglia: my daughter Qiqi keeps saying that her boss, dr baizhu from bubu pharmacy, keeps mumbling about an "annoyingly endearing fatui with green hair" and "stupid snezhnayan doctor"
Tartaglia: so explain
Dottore: haha...
Dottore is offline
Tartaglia: I KNEW IT
Tartaglia: YOU ARE SEEING DR BAIZHU HA
Tsaritsa: Pucinella, when I kill myself, ensure that Zapolyarny Palace will be safe and keep the Fatui running effectively.
Pucinella: YOUR MAJESTY!
YOU ARE READING
900 Years is a Long Time to Wait
FanfictionIt's been 900 years since they'd seen any of their parents. 900 years they'd waited. When the sea rises and the original Archons return to Teyvat, what do Meiling, Cecilia, and Rai have to do with it?