The issue with loving him

Nov. 2nd 2:38 am

I hate him, or well maybe I don't.. I want to block him, his number, his calls, his scent, the memory of him. All of it, the urge to talk to him as much as I can.

I miss him
I miss hands on me
i miss his hands on me
I miss his kisses

He says he wants me and I'm not sure I believe him.
He's like my own brand of heroin. My drug, my high, my addiction.

To him I am nothing, normally I am okay with being nothing, but not to him, never to him. I don't want to be forgettable in his mind.

I don't want to be just another girl to him

I feel like someone took my favorite drug away just as I started needing it again.

I feel like I need him and I hate it.

I want him to want me.

Please want me