The Nanny

4. Ash

She's younger than I expected, and given the less-than-warm reaction she's given me, I reckon I'm not quite her cup of tea. Not sure how I've surprised her, but I understand it's not in my best interests to give her a chance to cancel our agreement. Maybe I look a bit different than she expected too.

My flat is gone, and all my things are scattered around me. To pay my debts, I emptied my account. We've passed the point of no return.

For the last week, I've been doing some proper preparation. A bit of cooking. A bit of cleaning. Toss in some laundry. Even still, pleasing myself is a lot different than satisfying someone else, and I've learned that the hard way.

Last night, I almost backed out, moved into Tejinder's spare room, and tried to find an alternate solution. Perhaps naked sex toy parties would be a winner after all.

The shock of having been hired for this job finally hit me, and I realized what a Hail Mary this is. There's no safety net if I fail, not that there was much in place before now.

But crouched in front of this little gaffer, the tightness in my chest loosens. With his mess of blond hair, hazel eyes, and tiny statue, it's hard to believe he'll give me any trouble. We'll be partners in crime. Not real crime, mind you. Sort of the opposite of that. Whatever that is.

"You've got somewhere for me and Chloe to hang our hats?" I ask as I rise to a standing position again. My employer is petite, but everything from her bleach blonde hair to her full face of makeup to her wide dark blue eyes bellows high maintenance. Immy was like that too with the nails and the lashes and all the girly things scattered around the flat. 

"Oh, um." Paige stares at me with wide eyes.

If this is the part where she tells me I'm not hired after all, I might go a bit mental on her doorstep. While I'm not exactly the best candidate for the job, I reckon I'm better than someone who's never looked after a kid before. I've managed to keep Chloe alive for the last six months, and that's no small accomplishment.

"Yes," she says with a nod, and she's clearly holding something back. "Upstairs. The last bedroom. Do you want help with your things?"

"Nah," I say, stepping past her and Joey with a bag in each hand. "I've got it. Just a few trips."

Even though I've said that, she reaches out the door and grabs two bags to sling over her shoulders. It's not worth a fight, though, when she still seems on the knife edge of giving me the sack.

"I help. I help." Joey calls to his mother when she follows me.

In the end bedroom, I stare at the large four poster bed, and the space near a door where I'll have to wedge Chloe's crib. Not loads of space, but better than our flat. At least here I'm not paying the rent. I take the bags in, and I stack them near the far white wall. Out of curiosity, I open the door and find an oversize closet.

"All the bedrooms have closets," Paige says from behind me. "There's also the chest of drawers and the two nightstands for storage. But if you need more space, there seem to be other closets downstairs that I won't have a use for. A whole mudroom at the back that's empty of furniture too."

I nod, and then I head for the doorway where Paige is still standing to take the bags from her and stack them near the others. When I go to squeeze past her, she flattens herself against the door, and I'm aware again of how tiny she is. Ever since I grew a few extra inches in Upper School and began towering over women, I've felt this tightening in my chest whenever a woman seems afraid of me. On a building site or in a fight down at the pub, my size is a good thing. But it's not good for much else.

Instead of trying to get past her, I reverse course back into the bedroom. She skitters out the door, and Joey clings to her leg again in the corridor. Then I'm clear to proceed back down the stairs. I take them slowly so Chloe keeps sleeping. Nap time is almost over, but it's more convenient for me if she's asleep. Not sure why I didn't consider how awkward weekends living here might be. Am I to be out of my room looking after Joey even when she's home or will that be her job?