The Wrath of Aphrodite - Book 2

My Passion, My Soft Spot

The following morning, Ares is still here. Many times I would have wished for this exact scenario. That we are together for more than a single night at a time. That he wishes to stay with me until the morning afterwards out of love. 

I know even now, despite my state of weakness, I don't wish for that nearly as much anymore. Even if I did, I wouldn't be fooled. This isn't an act of love or affection. It's pity. Pity for the scorned mother of her child, the woman who has lost the confidence of his son...a son who was honestly starting to feel like her only friend. 

I've only seen a glimmer of true friendship very briefly in my life. Most of it from day one was hidden behind gestures of manipulations and cruelty. Hatred can boil underneath, or lust and masked intentions. I think back to my wedding day with horror, now knowing what I know about Hera and the women that surrounded me that day. I would have tried my best to show them kindness if they had shown me the same. It was my first day alive after all...I hadn't formed the bad habits yet...slowly, I suspect they taught me of cruelty. They all did. 

I can't stop thinking of those times now. My own cruelty is a sting that never completely vanishes. My treatment of Hephaestus, my horrible start to motherhood, my adultery...it's all led me to accept that Ares is all that I have now. 

He laid beside me wordlessly for the entire night, holding me while I on and off wept. I didn't know at the time why he was staying, but it brought a morsel of comfort to not be mourning on my own. Perhaps, he thought he would obtain some kind of a reward at the end of the night...such a reward never came. Perhaps, he just wanted to spend more time with Harmonia. That would be the more unlikely option. It was never something he cared much for when Eros was young...he's only suddenly taken an interest now.

Or...Perhaps the most unlikely option of them all: that we are both capable of empathy more than we and the outside world would presume. That we look out for each other when it matters, in that splinter of a moment, before we go separate ways again. Always remembering each other, never completely tossing the other aside, but never committing.

Not sure Ares or I will ever reveal the truth to each other. The truth is likely too detrimental to risk revealing. We may never survive it...at least, not yet.

I can only bring myself upright after he took the time to cook my breakfast. I let him hold Harmonia while I quietly eat and watch from bed. I can't help but wonder how long this moment of coexisting will last.

"No war I'm keeping you from?" I whisper when I've finally had my fill. I lay my plate down on the bed and cross my arms in front of me.

"You're at your weakest. As long as war is of my choosing, I choose to be here until you find your reason to be back on your feet." Ares grumbles, rocking Harmonia simultaneously.

"I have Harmonia. And my work." I answer. "I just need a moment to mourn my son, if you would excuse me." That and the entire life I had grown accustomed to...

"He is not dead, love. He is living. Thriving." Ares answers, matter of fact. "And you may not believe that I know you, but I do. You are my soft spot, just as I am yours. War is my passion, what I live for, and you have never quite understood it point-blank as I have understood your passion, and how it will always come before me. Your work, your revenge, your justice, it comes before me, just as my war comes before you." 

I narrow my eyes, letting my utensil fall and crash back onto my plate. "Eros comes before all of those things. Having a child altered that for me, Ares. I care for him more than you could understand." 

Ares sighs and sits on the corner of my bed, facing away from me. "He's left a hole in you. We leave holes in one another, I know. Your way of filling that gaping hole is not solved with your children as much as you wish it would be. Eros tried, even he is able to see it is impossible. It is not his task. It's yours, just as it is for everyone else."