[C] Closer | sangcob

eleven

Few weeks later, he sat down on the empty sofa in the empty and quiet living room. Staring silently at the tv only to zone out instead of watching it. He has his legs up and bring it close to his chest with his arm already wrapped around his legs.

There was no emotion in his eyes. Dull. Empty. Dark. And loneliness. He is just isn't the same as before after knowing the real side of him. His so-called friend. Plus Joonyoung is not here by his side is what makes him feel worst.

He knows that it was his fault for not believing him when all he said was the truth. He felt so bad. If only he could rewind the time to undo the mistake he made if he knew that Beomgyu was actually a bad person.

His almost fully healed wounds and bruises only to replace with a new one due to the endless torture from Beomgyu. Sangyeon wanted to talk about the reason why he did this to him but the latter just won't answer and he's tired to even bring it up now.

He just let him do whatever he wants to him. Torture him all he wants. It's like a routine now. Every recess, he asked him to come over the rooftop and after he releases his tension, he left him there.

The same guy who saved him for the first time came again and bring him to the infirmary. He's grateful that someone like that guy but he can't be too sure whether to trust him or not. After Beomgyu told to be careful trusting someone, he's completely having trust issues now.

He doesn't know what to do now. He has no one to be by his side. There's no one who he wants to freely talk about his own feelings. He's alone. Just like how he usually was before. He missed him. He missed Joonyoung and he admit that.

He's actually been waiting for his return but he knows that won't happen after what happened. He's a fool to believe that he will return. Hiding his face onto his knees, a single tear drop from his eyes and soon followed with more tears.

It aches his heart for some unknown reasons. He can't push the pain away from feeling it. He doesn't feel happy anymore. He just want to die.

He can't help but to think of killing himself someday. He's feeling suicidal. He had his first attempt before but he couldn't bring himself to do it and make few cuts on his wrist.

His body getting thinner due to lack of eating some food plus not getting enough sleeps. He still wonders what's the reason behind all this. Why Beomgyu did such a thing to Sangyeon without any explanation?  Whatever reason, he will try to fix it.

A little part of him still think that he's not fully a bad person because the guts told him so but then again, the other part of him told him the opposite.

He finally stopped crying as he wiped away the tears that still remains on the corner of his eyes and gaze down at his wrist. The clean and white bandages turn bloody red meaning it's his cue to change it with a new one.

He reluctantly get off of the sofa and stand on his feet, dragging it towards the bathroom and went to search for the bandages in the cupboard. When he found it, he grab it and unwrapped the bandages around his wrist.

Seeing how fresh and red the cuts are, he has the urge to do it again but tried to hold that in. He closes his eyes for a moment along with a sigh and wrapped the new and clean bandages around his wrist.

Just as he finished doing that, his phone vibrates vigorously on top of his study table as he went to grab it and read the caller ID. He accepted the call and place it beside his ear.

"I apologize for calling so sudden. There's just another information I found about the woman. Do you still wanna know about her son's korean name?"

Sangyeon forgot about it already and he's back to being curious about that boy's name although he doesn't feel like to continue to help Joonyoung's task.