3 am thoughts
i am tired, of this
hearing about this every day
hearing about how i
am not capable of expressing my feelings
how miserable i am at showing my emotions
i can't find the words
i cant describe my thoughts, my brain
"your words come out wrong"
"thats what you meant"
"thats how you sound"
"it is how you said it" she says
when will one understand how tough it is to be
trapped inside these thoughts and emotions that your soul isn't and most probably will never be able to express
stop blaming me,
stop telling me i don't show
stop putting me through hell
i'm terrible at showing feelings
the worst at expressing thoughts
and if only i could explain the way my brain works, not only i'd break from a prison of mind, a cell of its ideas, freedom from a wonderfully complex brain
so stop blaming me
blame the demons in my head
the fight is turned into survival
i, who was happy to live
am ready to die
me, who was full of feels
am unable to cry
myself, who was purely alive
have found heaven in my eyes
only when my brain and thoughts
are on the other side.
the blame is on me.
the blame will be over.
when i am gone, the blame will be a loner.
for the one who blamed me.
for the one who blamed.
for the one who.
for the one.
for the.
for.
the blame.
