Nothing You've Come To Expect - Alex Turner

22. (Part 1) finally, i slipped out of reality

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome onboard Flight AI479 with service from Los Angeles to Milan Malpensa. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts at this time and secure all baggage underneath your seat or in the overhead compartments. We also ask that your seats and table trays are in the upright position for take-off. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, including laptops and cell phones. Thank you for choosing AirItaly. Enjoy your flight."

I settle on my plane seat to get more comfortable, getting ready for departure. I'm not scared of flying at all, but take off and landing always bring me a bit of anxiety.
In about nine hours I'll be home, and after enjoying the first half of my vacation with my family, I'll spend about a week with the Last Shadow Puppets and my love. We'll be a few days in Italy and also a few in UK. I added three days to the original plan to be in England with the guys for Glasto. That will be epic .

An unexpected plan came up right after Alex went back to Europe. He told me when I was out with my new trainee, Jake.
Jake will be my substitution when I promote. He started that week and we hit it off really quick.
"Oh my god, honey...Who's. That. Hottie?" he asked when we both sat down at my desk the very first day and he saw the picture of Alex and I.
He invited me to get drinks after work a couple of days later, and I loved it because I'm feeling a bit lonely now that my boyfriend and his friends (now mine too) are away. It actually became a bi-weekly activity.

Alex called me that evening and I picked up excited. "Hey gorgeous! -sorry Jake, I need to take this."
"Buonasera mia bellissima."
I smiled like I always do at his attempts at Italian, he's random sometimes. It's cute.
"What you up to? Who's Jake?" He asked trying to sound casual.
"My new trainee. He's a riot. We're about to hit happy hour."
"Oh...ok..."
"His boyfriend is joining us. He's gay, babe. For real this time! Are you being jealous?"
"No...I am not-"
"You're jealous!" I mocked him in a sing-song tone.
"No...I was just...curious"
"Sure, sure!"
I sent him selfies later, with my unequivocally queer new friends.

"Anyway, I have news. Miles and I were invited to a fashion show for Cavalli in Milan."
"Oh cool!!"
"They are using Bad Habits for their new campaign. We were invited a while ago but declined 'cause the tour wasn't completely lined up yet. Since we'll be in town that night, they insisted to have us there. Miles and Ceci are excited to go; I don't care too much for such things, but I sorta have to be there. It was a friend's invite after all, it would be impolite not to go, you know?"
"You're friend with Roberto Cavalli?!?"
"No, with his son, Daniele."
"Oh!"

"Now, I know that it might be a lot for you, but...it'd be so much more enjoyable if you were with me. If you feel so inclined. Might be fun."
"Wow! Yes of course I'll go! You know I don't care too much for fashion and stuff, but this sounds exciting!"
"Alright then. Are you sure?"
"Wait..." I didn't think that through.

I took a step back there: this will be a public outing.
"There will be photographers and video cameras, the press and maybe TV as well..!" I came to the realization that it may, infact, be a bit much.
"Surely."
"Oh shit!!"
"You don't have to, darling."
"And we would be official with this." I was thinking loudly.
"I suppose we'll be."

Fuck, am I ready for that? No.
Will I ever be ready? No.

It sounded like he didn't feel like going as a single and like he wanted someone to be with him for confort, someone to turn to when it gets too much.
I thought it may be fun after all to do that together.
I'll have to step into his public world sooner or later. I might as well rip the bandaid off. I'd rather do it at an event that isn't centered around him. Let's have a taste of it. See what happens.
Fuck it.

"Ok. Let's do it."
"Are you sure?"
"No. But I'll go. 'Suck it and see', right?"
"Suck it and see, baby." I could perceive the smile in his voice.
Am I crazy? I always say that I don't want to be in the spotlight ad now I volunteered myself into it. And I thought of another problem.