Harry and Silvia Potter: Memes and Incorrect Quotes

Incorrect Quotes (3)

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER. ALL RIGHTS GO TO J.K. ROWLING.

Most of the incorrect quotes are from Google. Any which are my original will be underlined.

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"Screen?" Harry deadpanned the moment Death appeared.

"Yes," Death nodded and disappeared just as quickly.

"He's having too much fun with this," Silvia massaged her temples.

The screen shimmered.

Silvia: Who hurt you?
Ron: *sarcastically* Want a list?
Silvia:
Silvia: Yes.

"I want a copy too," Arthur said sweetly.

"I still haven't got that list," Silvia pouted.

"Share it with me too," Hermione said, pulling out her wand and examining it.

"Merlin you all are so embarrassing," Ron murmured as the rest of the Weasleys and Harry muttered their agreements.

"Nothing embarrassing of being protective, love," Silvia patted his cheek softly, "We all love you."

Ron ducked his head, the tips of his ears turning crimson as he blushed.

Sirius: My knees hurt so bad.
Harry: *innocent bean* Why?
Sirius: Because Remus and I were-
Hermione: PRAYING ON OUR KNEES ALL NIGHT LONG MAY I HAVE AN AMEN.
Silvia: Amen.

"I am not an innocent bean," Harry huffed.

"Harry, baby, you are the definition of innocence," Ginny said.

"I am NOT," Harry said, crossing his arms and sneering (definitely not pouting, nuh-uh, whatever gave you that idea?)

"Harry, a muggle girl had a thing for you last year and tried to make a move on you and you fucking yeeted her away screaming cooties," Silvia said gently as if explaining it to a toddler.

"I didn't want her to make a move on me," Harry protested, "Of course I knew girls don't have cooties."

"You did a very convincing act then," Silvia said doubtfully, as if not believing a single word spoken by Harry (poor bean).

Ron: An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Hermione: A book a day, keeps reality away.
Harry: An adventure a day, keeps the boredom away.
Silvia: A murder a day, keeps the idiots away.

Silvia smiled angelically.

"Question," Daphne said, "We have the Head of Magical Law Enforcement and Aurors seated here, why is no one worried about Silvia's possible murders?"

Amelia cleared her throat, "We won't arrest her on the basis of the fact that-"

"-She's a bad bitch and we all love her," Tonks interrupted, smiling unapologetically.

Silvia: Oh my god, are those idiots preparing to jump down the cliff? Without parachutes?
Silvia: *squints* Wait... they look familiar.
Silvia: 
Silvia: *running* OH MY GOD, THOSE ARE MY IDIOTS. HARRY RON FRED GEORGE BILL CHARLIE GET DOWN FROM THERE OR SO MERLIN HELP ME I'LL-

Silvia massaged her temples.

"Now you know how I feel," Hermione shrugged unsympathetically.

"What were they doing on top of a cliff?" Filius asked curiously.

"We were relaxing," Charlie said, "But then someone," he glared at Bill, "Dared us to jump off the cliff, and us being the idiot Gryffindors we are, agreed. The rest is history."

"Aha!" Blaise exclaimed triumphantly, "You admit that you are an idiot Gryffindor."

No one bothered to reply to him.

Hermione: So, what was your childhood like?
Harry: Oh, you mean my tragic backstory that you must be at least level 3 friendship to unlock?
Hermione: ... What level am I at?
Harry: 10. So it all started-

This startled a laugh out of everyone.

"What level am I at?" Ginny asked, batting her eyelashes.

"You're on a whole different scale," Harry reassured.

"Eww, people in love," Ron shuddered jokingly.

Ron: Why are you so sassy all the time?
Silvia: It's a coping mechanism.
Ron: Oh, I'm so-
Silvia: I'm coping with how dumb all of you are.

"I don't know why I actually believed her," Ron sighed.

"HeyyYyYYYyyyYyyYyYyyyy," Sirius said in his weird Sirius way, "Remus said that to me too a few years back."

"That 'hey' just removed one year of my life," Remus sighed.

Rita: Describe yourself in one word.
Silvia: Indescribable

Everyone burst out laughing.

"Brilliant," Harry high-fived Silvia enthusiastically.

Albus looked up, blue eyes twinkling. 

Snape suppressed a chuckle, reinforcing his impressive Occlumency shields. 

The rest of the professors found no reason to reign themselves in and chuckled. 

Looks like everyone hates Rita Skeeter.

Bill: How do I get revenge on those who have wronged me?
Hermione: The best revenge is letting go and living well.
Bill:
Hermione:
Bill: Hey Silvia, how do I get revenge on those-
Silvia: *reading a cheesy romance* Stab them with a rusty spoon if you're feeling especially vindictive, otherwise use a blunt knife.
Ginny: If you want to leave no evidence and are feeling nice, overdose them with Draught of the Living Death or straight up Avada Kedavra them.
Bill: *nods* Thank you.
Hermione: William nO-

"See," Hermione shrieked, throwing up her hands, "See the stuff I have to deal with."

"Who did you need that for?" Fred asked.

"Someone who wronged me terribly," Bill said darkly.

"He was talking about a 4-year-old kid who stole his chocolate frog," Silvia snorted.

"How do you know that?" Bill hissed, wincing at the deadpan looks aimed his way.

Silvia looked him dead in the eye and leaned forward.

"Magic," she whispered.

Ginny: How do I tell someone that I want to hit their face with a brick several times.
Hermione: One wishes to acquaint your facial structure with a rigidly edged object fundamentally used in the construction of walls repeatedly.
Harry: Omg that was poetry.

"You're scary sometimes, you know that," Ron said nervously, "Brilliant! But scary."

Hermione smirked at him.

"The Mudblood got teeth," Pancy crowed. 

"Parkinson," Silvia gritted out, "Say that disgusting word again and I'll tear out your fucking intestines from your throat."

Pansy paled and spluttered.

"Professor," she finally shrieked, "Are you going to let her get away with threatening me?"

Snape looked at her for a few seconds impassively.

"Five points to Gryffindor, Ms. Potter," he finally said, "And ten points from Slytherin Ms. Parkinson, for using that word."

Pansy gaped at him

"On that note," Charlie clapped his hands, trying to diffuse the tension, "Let's read another chapter."