HAPPY HAPPY HIPPY

hope

There is a reason why mankind wills his eyes to wake up everyday.

Admist the push and lull of this world, with hatred and peace sinking deep into its soils, with war, bloodshed, celebrations and dances, there is an essence that escapes the decayed and growing, and finds itself airborne, riding on the wind.

Hope.

To strive for something greater than what you have. That is what mankind lives for.

The hope that it can get better, not always will.

Despite the difference, hope nevertheless, stands in its strength. 

It is the tingling behind your throat when you want to collapse; it travels up to the base of your skull, and stays there, as light as a feather, but as apparent as the wind.

And you keep going. 

When the night consumes you, and the empty, yellow bulbs in your room can't light up your chest, it nests there: hope, above the yawning cavern.

I have discovered this ever-present, yet ironically elusive, phenomenon all of my life.

I have sat in spaces where I should feel welcome, open, and at ease —  and instead feel empty. For those who haven't felt depression to its depths, I would describe it as a hole growing steadily in your chest, and extending on down, down into your stomach. An aching cave of the deepest black. The feeling of operating an emotionless machine is also a close second; or, the feeling of your skin is nothing put a thin layer of porcelian, with nothing on the inside, except hollowness.

To the ones who read this, I vehemently urge you to ask for help when you need it. For so long had I decayed on the inside, and dug myself further and further down into my own pit — which, at one point, may have been my grave.

Get help.

Please.

Life can uproot you when you least expect it to, paralyzing you. It can treat you gently one moment, then stab you the next. But you have to live with the cards it deals to you. Life offers beautiful experiences. And for those, you must live. That is why mankind lives — why our ancestors lived. Hope. Hope for a beautiful future. And it is possible. 

Take a step back when the chaos becomes to much. Know yourself. You are the one person in this life who you cannot escape. That does not need to be a curse, nor a blessing. Sit with yourself, and do not judge. Instead, learn. Understand. Accept despite your feelings. Have compassion for. Your world may just get brighter.

I am not going to pretend that I am a master of emotional intelligence by any means, but I have been through way more than I should've for someone my age. And I know that there are others out there, much younger than me, who have it worse. My heart goes out to them. Reader, if you are one of them, please know: it does get better.

I didn't think that life could get better, either. But during a pivotal moment, I decided Life over Death. And that, my friends, made all the difference.

Hope is not unintelligent, stupid, or ignorant: in fact, it is the most intelligent thing one can harbor for themselves.

Don't discard it. Harness it. Nuture it.

Healing takes time — but it is possible. From the fertilizer of my scars, grows a garden. The turbulence is gone; my mind has healed. And for that reason alone, allow yourself to have hope.

It is there at any given moment in your life, when Life itself seems like the greatest burden. Let that hope come to you —  and you will be rewarded. 

Help yourself, by asking for help.

Have hope.