Chef Fieri

The Beautiful Man

Shrek was a lonely ogre living in a moist, smelly, dirty swamp. He tried to convince himself that he was fine alone, that he didn't need anyone else, but he longed for a partner. As he was scrolling through tumblr he saw other previously lonely people talk about how they met the love of their life on an app called tinder. Shrek had never heard of tinder but in a desperate attempt to cure his loneliness he downloaded it without question.

After setting up his profile he began to mindlessly swipe through all the people. 'Wow there are a lot of lonely people in the world'. Shrek continued to swipe, he was beginning to believe he was destined to be alone, until he saw him. He was the most beautiful man Shrek had ever seen. 'Damn being bisexual has its perks'. He knew it was a little shallow to swipe right based on looks, but sue him for liking a pretty face. Knowing no one would compare, Shrek exited tinder and went to bed dreaming of brown waves and piercing eyes.

_______________

When Shrek awoke the next day he refused to check his phone. What if the handsome man denied him? To wash off his nerves he decided to have a shower. He definitely wasn't showering in case the man wanted to meet up, and he definitely wasn't trying to make a good impression on a date that might not even happen.

Feeling refreshed and relaxed Shrek finally opened tinder and the man excepted! Feeling confident he began to message the man.

Shrek: Hey, I don't mean to come off strong but this is my first time doing something like this and I'd like it to go well, I'd like to get to know you and possibly go from there?

He anxiously sat waiting for a response. What if he thought he was too awkward? Or too inexperienced?

Gary: That sounds nice, I'm glad you aren't trying to rush things, I've been looking for a relationship where I can just take things slow, it seems everyone else on this app rushes too much to form a meaningful relationship, though I guess that's what I get for using tinder haha.

Could this guy get anymore perfect? From one message Shrek could tell this guy wasn't trying to use him to make fun of him. Shrek was sure he would be rejected because of his appearance, but he somehow got someone who accepted him for both his looks and his lack of social skills.

Shrek: So ummm what do you like to do? Sorry if that's a boring question.

Gary: It's kinda boring ngl, but how else are we supposed to get to know each other? I work as a professional chef, I've been cooking since I was little and decided to pursue a career in it, not to brag, but I have my own restaurant and food truck. The restaurant is more official but my heart lies with the food truck I started this all in. How about you? What's Shrek's life story?

Shrek: Wow! You have your own restaurant?! That's incredible, my life is nowhere near as interesting... I was just your typical loser kid who never ended up becoming anything, I work minimum wage just trying to get by.

Gary: Surely that can't be it?

Did he do something wrong? Maybe Shrek should've just lied, the man seems so disappointed, maybe this was a mistake. No. He can't give up this easy, if he gives up at the first sign of disappointment he'll be a nobody for the rest of his life.

Shrek: Well I've always had a passion for painting, it's a good way to escape the world, maybe one day I could show you some of them, and I can try some of your food 😜.

Gary: You paint? You didn't strike me as a painter, but I'd love to see you paintings, and for you I'd cook a whole feast.

Shrek: You really know the way to a mans heart don't you?

Gary: Of course 😘

The two of them talked for hours, sharing little mundane facts about each other when the topic of family came up.

Gary: I've told you about my family, what about yours?

Shrek: I don't really know them, I've lived alone as long as I can remember, but it's ok, I've grown used to living alone.

Gary: That's terrible. You didn't have anyone to take care of you at all? You raised yourself?

Shrek: My parents clearly didn't want me, I'd rather they leave me alone then force themselves to deal with me when they don't want to. And I'm sure you can see by now I'm not like you or other people. Everyone was scared of me, even as a kid. No one wanted to take care of something like me so I learned to take care of myself.

Gary: You don't have to just accept it like that, your allowed to be mad. Let out how you feel, you being different doesn't excuse other people's shitty behavior.

He... he actually cares? This doesn't make sense. Normally someone would reveal they were only pranking him by now. Maybe the man was right, he'd been setting his expectations too low, if he just allows people to treat him like shit he'll only get that.

-Incoming Voice-call-

'He wants to talk?' With tears in his eyes Shrek answered the call.

"We don't have to talk about the messages if you don't want, I just thought you could really use some cheering up"

Did Shrek really want to move on like that?

"No, I want to talk about it, if I don't I'll-I'll only ignore it again."

"Go ahead, let it all out, I'll be here to listen"

A dam in Shrek suddenly broke. Everything that's been bottle inside him for years overflowing. Years of repressed memories came bubbling to the surface ready to be released. The mocking faces of the other children, the pitiful looks from people in the streets, the kids hiding behind their parents as he passed...

"They all judged me, they judged me before they even knew me, that's why I thought I was better off alone."

"Shrek... you are not better off alone, you deserve someone who cares for you, no matter what I'll be here for you, even if things don't work out between us I promise I'll always be your friend"

"Thank you."

Two simple words, yet nothing else needed to be said.