CRK Headcanons!

qUiCk iNCorReCt qUoTeS bReAk

when you see a title like that

its incorrect quotes

for context:

Espresso, Madeleine, Custard, and Sorbet are a family

Latte adopted Cream Puff

Almond is Latte and Espresso's uncle

hahahahaha fruity detective x emo thief

~~~

Latte: I've never asked someone out. How do you even do it?
Rougefort: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: "Hey... how you doin'?"
Almond , scoffing: Oh, please.
Rougefort, to Almond : Hey, how you doin'?
Almond :
Almond : *face turns red* 

Rougefort: I have locked Latte in a cage designed by their own art. Oh, they have been well and truly hoist by their own petard.
Almond : Could you put it another way? I didn't understand a word of that.
Rougefort: I'm blackmailing them.
Almond : Oh, happy days.

Madeleine: What does the doggy say? Bow wow.
Espresso: What does the kitty say? Meow meow.
Latte: What does the moo cow say? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Espresso: Well, has Madeleine been wrong before?
Latte: How wide are we willing to open this up?

Espresso: Ducks are better than rabbits.
Sorbet: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks.
Madeleine: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey.
Sorbet: We're not talking about flavour, Madeleine!
Madeleine: Flavour counts!
Sorbet: Who carries around a duck's foot for good luck? Anyone?
Custard: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I'll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who's cozier?
Sorbet: Okay, but-
Custard: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO'S COZIER?
Madeleine: Then why don't we take a rabbit, a duck, stick 'em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out!
Sorbet: BECAUSE IT'S ILLEGAL, MADELEINE!
Madeleine: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, SORBET!
Espresso: I- Jesus-

canon

but tone down the yelling lmao

and sorbet would go 0o0o0o0ooOO0ooO0ooooo0OoooOO0OOOO0o0ooOO0ooooooOoOOO 

Espresso, writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass."
Espresso: THERE. Now send it.
Sorbet: o0o0o0oOOoOoO0oOo0000o?
Espresso: JUST DO IT!
later
Custard: So what does it say?
Madeleine, reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...."
Madeleine:
Custard:
Madeleine: Gross-

Espresso: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?
Sorbet: Put spaghetti in it.
Espresso: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.
Madeleine: Put spaghetti in it.
Espresso: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.
Custard: Put spaghetti in it.
Espresso: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Espresso: *points at Madeleine* A human turtleneck, *points at Custard* a narcissistic monster, *points at Sorbet* and literally the dumbest person I've ever met.
Sorbet: oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0oOOOOO?

Custard, setting down a card: Ace of spades.
Espresso, pulling out an Uno card: +4.
Sorbet, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!
Madeleine, trembling: What are we playing?!

Espresso: Your smile? It makes my day.
Madeleine: Your happiness? I live for that.
Custard: A room? Get one.
Sorbet: o0o0o? o0o0oOOOO.

Sorbet: Where's Madeleine?
Custard: Don't worry, I'll find them.
Custard, shouting: Espresso sucks!
Madeleine, distantly: Espresso is the best person ever! 
Custard: Found them.

Espresso: How late were you up last night?
Madeleine & Sorbet, in tandem: Me?
Espresso: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.
Espresso, to Custard: You.