Prompt- “I hate remembering the mess I used to be because part of me misses it.”
Character(s)- Dazai
Warnings- reminiscing on something the cant have.
Dazai had always played the fool. He was an actor he played the part of the jester entertaining those who watched. There were no one who saw him outside his acting not even himself.
But as he sat in that bar alone past memories would always play. What hurt most about those memories was while he had been the worst he had ever been in his life he missed it.
Pitiful he thought. To love something that can never be brought back, to care for people who will never come back. It was the worst feeling he had ever experienced the longing for something that hurt him so much.
He drank for a reason. To forget and leave behind his days. He was happier now anyway. He had people who cared for him and supported him. It was no longer just one person.
"I wonder Odasaku, what would you think of me now?"
He knew the answer deep down he knew he would be proud of him but that didn't matter. No one asks for a dead man's opinion.
He always ordered two drinks.
Why did he do that.
He's not here anymore.
The feelings hit him in a wave of emptiness of realisation. The waves pelted on the wall however they wall while cracked stood strong.
That night he visited a grave of a ince dear friend and said words that only the wind could utter.
“I hate remembering the mess I used to be-"
"-because part of me misses it.”
YOU ARE READING
BSD Angst One shots *Completed*
Fanfiction10 random angst oneshots I'm going to try and write a short angsty fanfiction once a day. Each day will have a different prompt and all warnings will be at the top of each one shot. Spoilers for season 1,2,3 including dark era *Completed*
