Red ribbons || Hyunlix

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Felix was cleaning his room, hoping he could distract himself from the mess inside his head with the mess in his room.

Just looking at his bedside table you got a glimpse of how his room looked. A total hot mess.

Right after torturing Thomas he had a manic episode. And it was bad.

Shards of glass from the bottles of alcohol were scattered on the carpet, some of them cutting right through the material and scratching the wood. Clothes thrown on random places like under the bed, in the bathroom and even in the bathtub.

Oh his bedside table were multiple buds from smoked cigarettes, a half finished tobacco, almost rotten food, destroyed makeup palettes and two bloody hobby blades.

Felix started panicking, checking his wrists and thighs but frowning when he didn't see cuts on his fading scars.

At least he didn't relapse.

But whose blood was that then?

Pursing his lips he got a litter bag, throwing everything from the bedside table in the bag but taking one of the blades and putting it in a little bag and placing it safely in his pocket.

Turning on the music in his earbuds he hummed the lyrics of the song, picking up the big pieces of shattered glass and placing them in the bag, hoping they would not cut it.

Collecting the clothes off the floor (and bathtub) he folded them and started organising them in his closet and drawer.

Placing a pair of socks in the drawer his movements came to a halt, his whole body tensing

His heart started beating faster as he felt the soft material brush against his fingers, remembering the specific day when he trained with Hyunjin for the first time and how it ended.

'I'll wait for you, I'll wait for you forever'

'This love consumes me. I am thirsty for it but I still drown in it. It hurts me, but heals me. It's a curse but also a cure, and they are the only one that could do this to me.'

'I am deeply in love with someone I cannot have'

Hyunjin's words swirled around Felix's mind, making him dizzy. Lately he started teasing Felix more and more especially during the training, Felix wanting to punch his face.

They stared at each other every time they had the chance. Eating each other alive with the piercing stares.

Felix felt weird, his stomach pulsating and twisting and his chest warming and buzzing thinking about those moments. And the fact that he knows now that Hyunjin loves him— even though it sounds so weird— made his breath get ragged, feeling like the sky was falling over him.

It was hard to breathe, perhaps because of the summer air. His stomach was sinking in such a good way, perhaps he was hungry?

But when he heard his heart pounding in his ears and slamming in his chest, he knew... it wasn't from the hot summer day or hunger.

You hate him.

I do.

He tried to calm down, lighting a cinnamon fragrant stick and putting a different crystal in his pocket.

Spiritual bitch.

Looking at the red ribbon hanging between his fingers so gracefully, he gulped. His entire body started getting hot at the thought that the piece of material was, a few weeks ago, in Hyunjin's hair.

Feeling his skin itching, he wanted to throw the ribbon in the garbage bag but instead found himself bringing it close to his face, smelling the soft scent of citrus and green apples.