Pain And Struggles

Low Self-esteem

I have noticed I have low self esteem,I can't remember when exactly it started but I am always shaking when I have to give a speech or talking to someone I don't know I feel like they are judging me and I hate it when I am judged.

I really try my best,and no matter how many times my friends tell me there's no need to fear everyone likes you,but those you say like me are the ones I hear talking bad about me behind my back.

A popular sentence one of my close friends used to say when I go to her for advice is that "Life is a scam". At that point I laugh it off,but when I think deep I see she is speaking nothing but the truth,sometimes in my life I feel like I want to be alone but the moment nobody pays attention to me anymore. Then that's when I get this thoughts,evil thoughts ,"You are not needed,girl", "You not important" ,"You are just a tool for your friends to use and throw away after that have gotten what they need from you"

It's just that cruel voice in my head feeding me all these bad thoughts unknowingly I was encouraging it in eating up my self confidence.

I remember a faithful,it was my brother's graduation,that day I wore a very beautiful dress but when I entered the school nobody really noticed me but I wasn't really paying attention because throughout that day I got I love you dress compliments throughout,and I wonder I love your dress or your dress looks beautiful is it the same as me being beautiful

I have never been told to my face that you are beautiful or pretty.
I look in the mirror occasionally thinking why don't I look more beautiful,a day without me looking at all my flaws in the mirror is not a normal day then.

If I and my friends have that important talk about our lives they keep telling me, I am cute and that am even self confident,and the me inside is like "You really think so because  I really am not confident ".
I can't voice that out not because I don't trust them but I just hate being vernurable

I am really tired but most times, those friends of mine are the ones keeping me sane.

Life is full of challenges, periodt.
Only the strong can get through it,but that's a lie. My conclusion is that we should surround ourself with positive energy no matter what.
If your thoughts become to heavy take a deep breath,pray and sleep it off.

By the time you are awake you would definitely have found a solution.

Positive thoughts and energy✨💯

And take a close look at your friendship, never keep a toxic relationship

💨💨💨💨💨💨💨💨💨💨💨💨
Author's Note

This are just general stuff I feel and with to share with other people going through something like mine.
Please  🥺  
            L
            I
            K
             E
                               S
                               H
        ...                    A
                                R
                                E
    
And COMMENT