Facing Fear

1K 53 26
                                    

April 14, 1979, Royal Surrey County Hospital, Floor 3: Maternity - Surrey, England

         In the days prior to April 14, I had felt miserable. I had back pain, tearing surges through my abdomen, spotting, cramping and insane nausea. Come to find out, all those things? Those are symptoms of premature labor. I had drug myself to the barn the morning of April 14th and drove to the hospital myself because I knew something wasn’t right. I had arrived at 9:20AM and since my doctor had been alerted upon my entry; I was quickly admitted and in my private room at 9:27AM.

I was so scared. Once the nursing staff had me out of my clothes and into a hospital gown, I only became more frightened. I didn’t know what was going on. I had no idea what to expect. I was lying in bed, hooked up to an IV with my doctor trying his best to delay my labor. I was being pumped full of corticosteroids for the sake of the baby’s lungs and got only knows what else.  I was cold, the blinds in the room were drawn, and the beeping of my heart monitor was making me crazy. The nurses were very nice and they had been attentive to me since my arrival. But as nice as the nurses had been to me, I was still shaking and terrified. My body was in knots, the cramps were killing me and I could feel contractions. Actual contractions. Harriett had warned me and talked me through what true contractions felt like versus false labor.

I laid there on the cold sheets wishing I had a blanket so very much and clenching the mattress when I would feel the pain shoot up my abdomen. I gritted my teeth and waited for my contracting uterus to settle as the heart monitor would slightly change each time the contraction came and went. I had my teeth clenched and my head tilted toward the side as I heard a knock on my open, hospital-room door. I looked up, still in pain. “Dr. Myers!” I practically cried upon seeing a familiar face.

“Hey! You doin’ okay?” He immediately came to my bedside and offered his hand to me, which I immediately clenched my sweaty palms around. I shook my head at him.

“No.” I said, fighting back my tears. “I’m…I’m scared.” It took everything in my power to admit that fact to him. It sounded better in my head.  He smiled kindly at me.

“Okay, I want you to lay back, put your head on your pillow there. Do you want another? Another pillow?” he asked. I shook my head yes at him. Oh, I truly felt that it would help.  “You have bumps are you cold?” he asked. I shook my head, tearing up a little. He pressed my call button to buzz the nurse station. Shortly after he buzzed the nurses carol, one of the maternity nurses appeared. “Please get Lydia a heated blanket and some ice chips?” he ordered her, phrasing it as a question. The nurse gave him a nod and took off.  “Are those your clothes in the suitcase?”

“Yes, I managed to pack some things before I left. I said as he sat at the side of my bed. Dr. Myers gave me a nod. “Well, listen. Everyone on your contact list has been notified that you’re in pre-term labor. However, we couldn’t reach your nurse midwife.”

“Oh, oh please don’t…alarm her. Her sister died. The funeral’s today. Please just let her be.” I said as the nurse appeared in the doorway. Dr. Myer’s shook his head again.

“Thank you.” He said, taking the blankets and a tray from the nurse. “I’m going to have a look at you and a listen.  I need to see how far along you are and if there’s any way we can delay labor. The discomfort you felt last week was likely your beginning labor stages. The good news, Lydia is that you’re only two days shy of 29 weeks.” I shook my head and the doctor released by hands and repositioned his rolling chair to examine me.  I felt even colder and exposed as I positioned my heels in the stirrups for him to take a look. “Are you contractions regularly spaced or are they sporadic?” he asked as he placed the stethoscope on my abdomen.

It's Real LoveWhere stories live. Discover now