Finding Scarlet

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

Scarlet

Whatever Toby brought with him still lingers in the air even long after he left.

My fingers twitch with an energy only brought on by electricity, but I know that is not the case. Toby did something that changed everything, I just don't know what.

The sky is slowly dulling, the luminous bright colors like Pop Art fading away until the warm glow of the never-ending sunset regains its former glory. The inside of my mouth feels like cotton, like I've eaten something allergic.

But I'm not allergic to anything.

At least, I don't think I am.

The swing set slowly shrinks and its claws disappear into the ground, as the slide becomes a slide again and the play structure a structure again.

My head, however, will always be cloudy.

Seeing Toby acting delusional and—well—crazy, took me off guard. Usually I'm the crazy one around here. But when I saw how scared he was... I never wanted that to happen again.

Mainly because he made me scared too: scared of what's happening to him, what's happening to me, what's happening to us.

I can't get it out of my head. Him on the ground, screaming and fumbling around like a lost soul without a body to inhabit.

As crazy as this sounds, I could relate. Sometimes I feel like a lost soul myself, here in this strange world.

Whatever was happening to him made me want to make everything right again: something I never really imagined myself doing. It's not that I don't like people... it's just I don't like getting involved with people.

That why I've been struggling this whole time, why I've been trying and failing to figure where I am and who I was. I. Just. Can't... I refuse to be weak, I guess.

And needing help is a sign of weakness for me.

I want to laugh at that. I do, actually. That's the only thing you know about yourself, Scarlet?

Thanks for the heads up.

I get so angry sometimes. I think it's a bit of the situation and a bit of my nature. From what I can gather, I mean.

My mind and I are not quite acquaintances yet.

What do you want me to do, Brain? Take you out on a date? Get you a freaking ice cream? Have a bonding session with a sleepover party? What do you want me to DO?

I sigh in frustration, running my fingers along my scalp and messing up my hair. I hear movement from behind me and look over, and see Toby walk cautiously towards me. My shoulders sag with relief, before I rake my hair flat again and stand up. I walk over to him but don't embrace him; I just visually assess his face, searching for any sign of wildness in his blue eyes; for a twitch of insanity on his mouth.

"Hey." I finally say.

"Hey."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," He looks to the ground. I follow his gaze for a moment before returning to his face. I see Toby's hand twitch at his side, like he was about to reach for something, but thought better of it.

"I'm sorry about... all that." Toby says uncertainly.

"What happened?" I ask, mildly interested and concerned at the same time.

He sighs. "I went to see someone."

I raise an eyebrow. "A shrink?"

That manages to crack a smile out of him, making the air feel lighter. "Sort of. Nathaniel—this professor I had an appointment with—he's a dream specialist. After what happened the other night—where you were covered in blood—I couldn't... I couldn't watch you suffer like that. I know it was a bad dream but I just felt like... like it meant something. That something happened to you, somehow."

I kick some woodchips absently on the ground. "So this Nathaniel person... what did he do?"

"Well..." He squirms under my gaze. "He put me to sleep. An anesthetic, actually. I guess it made my dream go all wonky."

I cross my arms. "No kidding."

He smiles sheepishly at me, the faintest tints of pink lightening up his cheeks.

"So... what did he say?" I ask.

His smile drops, and he looks at the ground again.

"What, is the ground more interesting or something—?"

"No, it's not that." Toby tries to explain, shaking his head and shifting his weight from each foot. He sighs, and I can't read his eyes anymore; something covers them. It takes me a moment to realize that it's the formation of tears.

"Oh Scarlet," He breathes, my name alone seeming to worsen his mood as well as darken mine as it rolled off his tongue.

I can't take this anymore. "What is it Toby?" I say, trying to act annoyed.

But his expression makes me falter.

"I'm so sorry." He rambles out, shaking his head. "I'm so, so sorry Scarlet."

"Toby, stop making incoherent sentences and get it out already—"

"You're dead, Scarlet." Toby bursts out, making my body freeze. His eyes harden, as if he was trying to be strong for me. "And you can't ever, ever leave this place."

And then everything zooms in, and I feel my body shutting down as the realization crumbles upon me.

I feel warm arms around my shoulders that slide down my back, and I let them stay this time, because I might as well not be here at all.

Because I never really was.