Chapter 26: As is

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 Loud knocks could be heard on our apartment's door while Kate and I sit in the living room having our coffee with our laptops open for school. We both look at each other " Alex coming over today?" I ask Kate

"No," Kate said as she gets up to the door

I continue my research paper and pull up the article to cite as my support

"Oh hey! Good morning" Kate's voice

"Good morning, can I come in?"  My shoulder tense at the voice

"Of course!" Kate said cheerfully

Heavy steps could be heard following softer one

" You want some coffee, Griffin?" Kate asks on her way to the kitchen

"Yes, please," he said

He steps farther into the room, then stops and stands behind the sofa where I'm sitting at. I continue my typing, his footsteps sound again until the sofa dips as he lowers himself onto it

"You didn't come back last night," he said

I pause mid type; my eyes remain focused on the screen

"I had school then work last night; it made more sense for me to stay here last night. Don't you think?" I said then turn to him, we both stare at each other.

"Here you go, Griffin," Kate said handing him his coffee

Griffin turns to Kate, the corner of his mouth lifting "Thank you" he said before sipping his coffee

"What brings you here today?" Kate asks while sipping her coffee

"I thought I come by and hang out with both of you today," Griffin said

"Really?! Well, I hate to break it to you, but I think you came at a bad time. We plan to spring clean our apartment and maybe rearrange some furniture today." Kate said, "Unless you want to help?" Kate adds

"Kate, I'm pretty sure Griffin is busy. Besides, you and I got this. It won't be much." I decide to intervene

"I can help," Griffin said, surprising the both of us

I turn to him, and he's looking at Kate " With three people, it can be done quicker. I just need to go out and get something done first before I can come back." he adds

"I was just joking, Griffin. You don't need to help us." Kate said

" I want to help," he said

He sticks around a little longer talking to Kate while I immerse in my research paper. He leans in every now and then to look over my shoulder at my research, and each time his chest brush at my shoulder until I couldn't take it anymore and turn to him to make him stop. The moment I turn, his face was inches from mine, and my breath hitched. Kate clears her throat and says something about forgetting something in her bedroom and she's going to look for it.

"I miss you," he said softly "I'm sorry, I wasn't back the other night. I wanted to come back, but I can't leave her in that condition." He said

"Jackie, she's on antidepressant medication and a few other meds, she can easily overdose on alcohol poison when mixed with those medications if she's not careful. She had been hospitalized for it before, but she's been making so much progress these past few years." He continues

"I'm working to get her in contact with all the help she needs." He said with a solemn expression

"Why do you feel the need to do so much?" The question slip passes my lips before I can think it through

His eyes flair at my question "Because I don't leave people I care about behind, Elena." He said

"Please don't take what I just asked you the wrong way," I said, I can't help but think this has to do with his mom's death and his psych inability to let go and always feel the need to do more.

But this conversation is getting too deep for my liking. I don't want to dive into it.

"You said you have something to do today, why don't you get started on it while we finish up our schoolwork," I said dismissively 

Griffin sizes me up with his looks, next thing I know he scoots in closer " What are you doing?" I ask

"Just want to see what you're working on." He said, "And you can't see it from where you're sitting?" I raise my eyebrow at him

"I have bad eyesight"

"Then you should go get it tested instead of wasting everyone's time here." I retort back 

There's a long pause a dismal look in his eyes "I'm leaving in three days." His eyes slowly make their way back to mine. 

A strange feeling swam in my chest "Am I wasting your time?" His tone becomes softer his eyes search mine for an answer.

There's a line somewhere and I feel as though I crossed it and find myself lost as I see that spec of gold in his eyes once more. His eyes linger on my lips and I feel that gravity pull, it's so strong. His gaze into my eyes is so deep I'm drowning I'm gasping for air he reaches his hand out for me, and the spaces between us get smaller. I'm scared, I'm so scared. 

I look away and break the trance. 

No.

"Yes, you're wasting my time. I have a lot to get done." I can't look at him. I don't look at him. 

Quietness fills the room I look at my computer's screen, but all I can feel is him. 

I hear the creak of the couch, the empty space beside me as he gets up. His steps echo in the quiet apartment he retreats toward the door then stillness once more. I don't look I tell myself not to look. The door opens and then closes with a click. 

Deep in my heart, I know my plan has to be executed perfectly. I don't have room for mistakes, I will not be able to survive this if it doesn't go well.

Kate and I continue our studies.

"He cares for you " Kate's voice breaks the silence

I look up from my school's work at my friend

"Even during our early high school years. Anytime you're in the same room his eyes would always follow you. He was always there looking at you. I didn't know what to think of it at first. But as the years goes by, something in his eyes just became more.... sad." Kate said "He's-" Kate continues

"Kate. Please stop." I said when I couldn't take it anymore "You don't understand," I said

"Then help me understand, " Kate said

"We've been friends all these years; I had been beside you watching you going through whatever it is you're not telling me." Kate said, her voice laced with emotions "I never want to push it because I had hope that you would one day open up and talk to me. But lately... I feel like you've made your mind up about something and I don't know why, but I feel so scared for you."  Her eyes swam with tears.

Emotions start to make their way up my throat, I open my mouth to say something, but couldn't get it out because the feelings behind it just keep threatening their way out. I clear my throat and try again.

"I...." I begin. I take a deep breath and look at my best friend in her eyes

"Do you believe in a curse that can follow your family?" I begin. Kate's eyes open wider, and she slowly nods her head.

"Good. It'll make this story much easier to understand" I said

So, I begin telling Kate of our misfortune from the very beginning.

I wish I could say me and Griffin had a proper goodbye. The next three days we don't see each other, he's busy as do I. I can't afford to be distracted. 

On the very last day that he had to leave I was still in class. I sit in class distractedly looking out the window.

My phone vibrates on my desk. 

Griffin: Take care. 

I don't respond I leave it as is. Nothing to be said to make any of this better. Sometimes it's better to just leave it as is. 


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