Our Hill of Stars

51

#OHOS51

I keep thinking why does it have to be like that-my friends leaving me, my friends saying those word to me. I can't imagine that they're dodging our practices because they don't want it anymore. The last time we performed was during our gig we all seemed fine, laughing or that's what I thought and they really have plans on leaving me? Since when are they hiding this from me? Since when were they talking about me behind my back?

I'm so mad that all I could do is cry... until no tears come from my eyes.

I'm so mad that I feel so betrayed because I thought we we're in this together.

That's why we're endless solstice because we're bound to stick together and make good music.

But I'm all left alone.

"Are you okay now, Avery?" Kohen Chase was brushing the strands of my hair. It's so comforting that I don't want to leave by his side. I don't want him to leave my side.

"Not really, I'm in pain Kohen Chase... in pain," I said a matter of factly. It's been what? 3 hours since I read their message and Kohen Chase is here in my bed. Cuddling with me. Brushing my hair. Saying comforting words to make me feel better. And it's working but I'm still in pain. So much. "My dream is to make good music Kohen Chase, music's my escape when everything and everyone's gone, music's the only thing that stays." I whispered like a kid telling what's their dream when they grow up. I am that kid... with this Kohen Chase.

"I'm listening Avery, go on," his voice was so soft. I stopped talking so I could breath so I could stop myself from crying. Bwiset na luha napakababaw!

"I used to hate music, but my mom likes music she always sings for me. She's a performer sadly she stopped liking music when she found out dad was with someone else. Dad stopped playing music too. She hated music so much, I hated music that time but when she died. A part of me was lost too when I lost her. She took her life Kohen Chase. I hated dad so much for finding someone new so quick I couldn't get to hate her new wife because she's nice. I loated dad because it's his fault that he vowed to marry my mom in vain but resulted another third party." I looked at Kohen Chase, jaw drop with all the things I'm saying. "Yeah he knew the girl he married while mom is still alive, she's a famous song composer fucking coincidence of this industry. That man is trash." I want to voice out my feelings. I feel like I've been keeping this for such a long time and now's the right time to let everything out.

I have the rights to be mad. I want to curse music so bad but it's now my comfort.

"Yea he is, but I respect him though maybe just a little bit?" He laughed, of course I laughed with him. It makes me guilty that we're making my dad here the villain, he deserves the spotlight I guess. "Then what happen? How did you like music? I'm curious about you." asked Kohen.

"My mom gave me the guitar before she left the world, I guess that's her way of saying that music can make you feel I'm still here, that's why I practiced the guitar that's where I met my babes-sila Mara they thought me how to play guitar I joined an organization in school and I made lots of friend until endless solstice was formed-a full band now." reminiscing those memories how we started feels nostalgic to me.

I can't still fathom the fact that I'm all left alone with the band that we made. The promises and future plans we made. The songs that we wished to make an album will all just stay as words. It's heartbreaking that I have to do that all alone now. I guess growing up means growing apart too.

"Is that why you hate to have a relationship because of your dad? Is that why you're so scared of committing?" He kissed the side of my head. I closed my eyes.