Come, Josephine

Chapter 42

1928
Josie
   Breakfast was awkward, to say the least. While Ruth was still bedridden, the atmosphere was heavy. Jack watched Nick throughout; while he kept his expression light, something darker brewed. From the confused look on mamma's face, I could tell that he had not yet told her.
   Half way through breakfast, mamma spoke, "so, Nick, how was your journey?"
   He offered her a warm smile, "it's certainly the longest train journey I've ever been on, Mrs Dawson."
   "You must be tired now- I felt as if I could sleep for days after we did that journey- right, Jack?"
   He barely concealed his confusion from being drawn out of his thoughts, "yeah, I could barely keep my eyes open for a few days."
   Mamma piped up, "although I must say, Nick, you look surprisingly well rested for having slept outside all night- I must talk with mother..."
   "No need, Nick was thinking of going into town and finding board in return for work. Right, Nick?"
   He looked over at Jack a little nervously, "yes, Sir."
   "Oh, don't be so silly," mamma laughed, "we have a spare room. Josie, why don't you ask mother? She seems more partial to you, although I'd put on your nice dress first and tell her Nick is the farm help."
   He only smiled, and I nodded, "why should I say he's here, mamma?"
   "Oh, that's a tricky one... you could say that we sent for him to bring us some money and clothes, as we didn't expect to stay here this long... do you think that will work, Jack?"
   He nodded absentmindedly. Mamma looked slightly irked, but didn't say anything. Breakfast progressed, and although the atmosphere was still stiff, and Nick sent me the odd "help me" look, all was well.
   Suddenly, mamma stood, "oh, I'm so sorry, you must excuse me."
   She marched off suddenly, and Jack followed. As she turned to go out of the back door, I saw her hand pressed to her mouth.
Nick and I exchanged glances. We knew why she had left in such a hurry, but neither of us wanted to acknowledge that we knew what we ought not to. We kept our heads bowed over our plates for a moment before speaking.
Nick turned to me and whispered, "you know, I don't think your father likes me anymore."
   "Oh, Nick, don't be silly," I forced a laugh, "I'm sure it'll just blow over."
   "You saw the way he looked at me, then?"
   "Oh, it was nothing. Maybe he's just tired- he's been stressed out with mamma's condition and Ruth's stance on, well, everything."
   "Are you sure? I'm pretty sure he'd throttle me if you weren't there."
   "Nick, I promise that's not true!"
   "Really, Josie? I'm pretty sure he hates me."
Exasperated, I sighed, "oh, Nick-"
At the last moment, mamma quietly walked in with Jack following her. Her face was ashen, her movements slow.
As they passed, Jack whispered, "your ma isn't feeling so well, Josephine. I'm just going to get her upstairs to bed."
I nodded silently, and I felt Nick grasp my hand under the table. I watched as they left, and the way Jack followed her closely up the stairs, his hand on her waist.
Nick watched me like a hawk. He knew I was worried, as it lined my face, but I quickly changed my expression.
"I should go check on her," I said, rising from my seat.
Upstairs, the door to mamma and Jack's room, as normal, was shut. I knocked, not obnoxiously loud as I might have done at home, by quiet enough to only hear if you were awake.
Sharply, Jack opened the door. He stood, a little surprised, blocking the doorway from me. He would not let me look into the room.
"Is mamma okay?" I asked, trying to keep my voice oblivious and naive.
"She's just sleeping, Josie," he said, "I'm sure she's fine, just a little tired from everything."
He shut the door as he entered the corridor. For the first time, I noticed the dark circles under each of his eyes, and the exhaustion which hung on his features. He was exhausted.
"Hey, do you want to go on a walk with me, Josie?" He said suddenly, "come on, let's go."
I nodded, "can Nick come?"
"Why don't we make it just the two of us?" He said a little too quickly, "is that okay?"
"Sure."
We went downstairs, and said goodbye to Nick on the way out. We went down the garden path, and down the lane.
"I want to start off by saying that your ma wouldn't be happy that I'm telling you all this," Jack said, "but I think you deserve to know."
   "What is it?" I said, trying to hide that I already had a good indication of what he was going to say, "is she okay?"
    "Of course she is, Josie," he said, "and you know that we both really love you, right?"
   "Jack, you're scaring me. Is everything okay?"
   "Yes, it is- I'm sorry, Josie. I shouldn't have scared you. But you just need to know that we love you, right?"
   "Right, right," I said, "but what is it?"
   He took a long pause, his face worked with worry. He didn't look like the Jack I knew, but older, more worn out. He didn't seem to know what to say, or how to handle whatever he was feeling. Was it worry? Stress? Anticipation? At last, he went to speak.
   "Your ma's pregnant, Josie."
   "Oh, that's wonderful, Jack," I said, grinning ear to ear in earnest, "that's really wonderful."
    "You're sure you're okay with this, Jose?"
   "Of course I am, why could I be anything else? Isn't this just wonderful?"
   "Yes," he smiled, but his face suddenly dropped, "we're really excited, Josie, but your ma wants to tell her mother first. You understand that, right?"
   "Right."
   "Can you hold off on asking Ruth for a room for Nick until after things settle? I know it's a lot to ask, Josie, but in a few days, once we've broken the news to Ruth, you can do what you want, right?"
   "You mean he has to sleep in the stable all night?" I asked, "Jack, I know you don't want him to sleep in my room, but can't he just sleep in the kitchen, in the warm, or go into town? I have some savings, I can rent him a room-"
   "Ruth might find out if he sleeps in the house, and you know she won't be happy. Josie, it's your money, you can do what you want, right?"
   "Right."
   "Your ma just doesn't need this stress right now."
   "I know, I understand," I said, and went back into the house.
   I asked Nick if he would accept the money and go into town to rent a room, but he refused. He said that it wouldn't be right, and that he didn't want to spend the money on such a lavish extravagance. I simply laughed, and told him that the money was his if he changed his mind.
   I didn't tell mamma or Jack that Nick already knew about her condition, but I spent most of the afternoon with mamma, talking about the baby. He face glowed with joy.
   When the night finally drew to a close, and Nick went to walk out of the back door, I put a hand on his arm, "it's really cold out there tonight," I said, "please, sleep in my room; I don't care if I get in trouble."
   "I know you don't, but I do," Nick said, "come on, Josie, I don't mind. Goodnight."
   He kissed me goodnight, and went out into the cold.