Why I don't Read Y/Ns Anymore

Chapter 1: Of Fucking Course

"Hi! My name is Y/N. And my life is a little crazy. After my mom died giving birth to me my dad married my step-mom. Then my dad died after alcohol poisoning. Now I live with my Step-Mom and Step-Dad. Now after getting homeschooled after I almost killed myself from bullies when I was 10, I get to finally go to my junior year of highschool! I can finally go to the academy of my dreams, Arcana Academy!

I am so happy-
Blah blah blah" I sighed and fought the urge to chuck this demon spawn of a device I had in my possession. God, why did these all have to be the same. 12 year old fantasy garbage. Why can't I date normal sexy boys with a normal fucking protag.

Checking the time, I realized that I'm a goddamn insomniac and it is 3am, of course. I could have done my other homework but hey, who needs to do important things when I can procrastinate. I flopped on this beanbag I had bought instead of a bed... because of course I did. My life? Ordinary as hell. My looks? Just as bad. The closest thing I have to a personality? Depression and Anxiety. So, laying in this god forsaken room that was in fact my dorm, I fell asleep at long last.

"Y/N! You're going to be late!" I heard a harsh voice sound out beneath me. The fuck? Who is in my dorm?! Jolting up, I looked around. Where in the Hell am I? This isn't my room-

"Y/N! Get yourself downstairs! You know I won't tolerate your "Unique" choice to sleep in instead of going to Arcana Academy" Another voice emerged. There is two of them? Who the satan infested hell is Y/N? Who names their kid that. Wait- Arcana? Like that shitty academy from my fanfic last night? Please for everything in heaven- PLEASE don't let me be in that hell ridden fic.

I sat for a moment before accepting the fact that this is my own hellish nightmare and I would wake up soon. Or at least I hoped I would wake up soon. I grabbed what could only be described as a tacky Y/N uniform. It was an indigo barely thigh length skirt with black stockings and a white button up blouse. Oh God- Please let this be a dream.

With that, I went downstairs where I was greeted by a couple who looked like they should star in some movie. The only thing that soured their looks was the mild disgust on their faces when I walked down the stairs. I really am in a Y/N fanfic, aren't I?

"Finally. I made you some toast. You should run or you'll be late." The lady I could only assume was my Step-mom now. The only real issue right now?

"Uhh- I can't have that. I'm allergic to gluten.." I spoke up, to their surprise, I guess. They looked more shocked that I had spoken at all then that new revelation. Then the man I took as the Step-dad spoke up.

"Since when? You are always changing yourself- Why are you gluten free this time?" He said in more of a growl than anything else. I simply rolled my eyes and grabbed the white and bland book bag that sat on the chair next to him.

"Since birth. Anyways- I'm leaving. See you both after school." I sighed and left. Silence and the sound of the rain filling my mind. Until I heard a splash and-

"Y/N! You are late again! Come on! We have to hurry!" A short boy with purplish black hair and Magenta eyes yelled. I felt my jaw drop. Yes, he was kinda cute- but that wasn't the problem. The boy seemed to sport the lower half of a goddamn spider.

"Y/N!" He exclaimed again, effectively releasing me from my trance. He scurried in a direction as he yelled y/n once more. As much as I hated it, I followed close behind.

It didn't take long to reach a large extravagant golden gate, a mass of students entering in the same uniform as me. The ravenette- purplette- arachnette? I don't fucking know.... The spider boy continued to pull me along.

As soon as I saw the gates, I bolted. Trying to get enough distance however the hell that spider guy was. Once I was away from the crowd, I found the office area and swallowed the last of my everloving sanity.

"Excuse me, is there any way I can get a copy of my schedule? I lost mine..." I muttered to the- cat lady? She had cat ears and I could see the sliver of pupil in her eyes look up.

"Name?" She asked, seemingly bored.

"Y/N..." I cringed at the word. To my surprise she looked just as awkward at the sound. However, she turned to the computer and typed in the name.

"Is there anything else you could be under?" She asked in a more hopeful tone. Hoping that I had a normal name no fucking doubt.

"Try Freya" I shot into the dark but she nodded nonetheless and typed in the words. Soon she wrote down a handful of classes and such on a paper and handed it to me.

"Alright, here you go. Please hurry to class."

I nearly dropped the note. It had MY name in there?! I ran towards my first class, weaving through students who clearly don't understand that the halls are not to stand in the middle of..

Barely getting into my first class, I sat down in what I hoped would be an ok spot. Only two jocks sat to my sides. A wolf-like brunette on my right, and a pale ravenette to my left. They seemed to glare at each other as if I wasn't in the middle.
"Elliot." The wolf guy growled.
"Jason." The posh ravenette scoffed.
"Y/N!" They both seemed to say with honey as their attention turned to me. Oh great... A love triangle.

I quickly raised my hand and excused myself to the bathroom. Locking myself in a stall of the ladies bathroom, and squeezing myself into the fetal position on that damned toilet. Of course I was in a Y/N fanic. My life was going to end up as shitty as every 12 year old girl's dreams.

Of. Fucking. Course.
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Bonjour readers! Welcome to this dumpster fire of a book. Obviously, this is a joke- and is meant to critique and mess around with the stereotypical 12 year old written Y/N fanfics. I am not making fun of their writers or their newborn skills. I will try and put in character descriptions at the end, mostly because Freya isn't going to.

Freya- Female Lead
Human with Green eyes and Brown hair. Allergic to Gluten and Cringe

Webster- Childhood Friend
Arachne with Purplish Black hair and Magenta Eyes. Has known Y/N since they were 3.

Jason- Soccer Jock
Brunette Werewolf with hazel eyes and a hatred for Vampires.

Elliot- Soccer Jock too
Ravenette Vampire with ruby eyes and a hatred for Werewolves.